Finding You
by Kamille Peccato
Summary: Lavi loves Kanda but his feelings are not returned. However he finds friendship in an unlikely place : LaviXDebitto, KandaXAllen ?X? its a surprise xD R&R? :D
1. Chapter 1

**Hi!**

**I thought about doing this because I haven't seen it done before :)**

**First fic so be nice please!!! R&R :p**

When you are brought up to have no heart and observe everything from the sidelines, its difficult to cope with when you find yourself falling for your best friend, especially when said friend is a guy. However long it may take to overcome, it is possible so long as you're not stupid and confess to your feminine-yet-very-homophobic friend who, consequently, will shoot you down. However, your non existent heart will bear it as you are still able to observe your love from the position of "annoying loud-mouth bunny" friend. You will not be noticed, however hard you try, as anything but this as your being kept at a distance in case you get the urge to "gay it up" when he's not looking. But its okay, nothing a tough cookie like you cannot put up with.

And that's how you will live your life unless you can get over him. Its nothing that can't be handled, much as it may hurt, so you carry on, him being cold and always very aware that you're there, you putting on the happy-go-lucky front, him "che"ing at everything and you pouncing on him screaming "Yuu-chan" because you know it annoys him. That is fine. That can be with held. Right up to the day you start to notice him act a little strangely in front of the newbie and always trying to avoid your conversation starters about the bean sprout. Right up to the day that you decide knocking isn't needed so burst straight into his room even though he told you that he was tired and needed to sleep. Right up to the very damn second when you see the only person who has ever received emotion like this from your non existent heart making out with your friend who he apparently "hates".

Hence why Lavi ran.

He ran down the hallway to the comfort and solitude of his room, ignoring the tears now streaming down his face. He crashed into his room, slamming his door closed and leaning back on it, panting heavily. The tears were getting in the way so he angrily scraped his arm across his eyes so as to remove them. He'd never felt more stupid in his life, having chased the guy around in hope of something for 2 years and then walked in, mouth flapping like a fish, to a scene that try as he might he just couldn't shake.

Now that he thought about it, Lavi felt really bad for Allen. Poor kid had gone so red he almost matched Lavi's hair, and Lavi was pretty sure he'd said something about marriage or children..... maybe even both. He felt, for lack of a better word, like a complete and utter tit.

_What have I done?_

He moved from his post on the door to his bathroom, flinging the door open carelessly as those haunting and devastating words he'd heard somewhere came flooding into his brain.

_What have I done?_

Pulling the pull string of the light switch he turned his attention to the mirror, and at the tear stained face that looked back.

_How could I have been so blind..?_

He ran some water into the sink. Not really sure what he was doing or why he was doing it. His gaze returned to the mirror. He looked tired.

_All is lost.... where was I?_

His fingers lazily made their way up to his eyepatch, moving slowly around the small bump of his eye. It took a lot of effort not to ram his finger deep into it. Not like anyone would be able to tell the difference save him.

_Spoiled all...._

"This is your fault" he whispered at his covered eye. He lowered his hand before pointing lazily at the mirror. "Actually sonny, its yours".

_Spoiled all......_

Letting his hand drop down he heard if not felt the crash of water where it hit the sink and its slowly filling inside.

"Oh" he said, looking at his hand and turning the tap off with his other. It wasn't bleeding, though some sadistic part of him wished it would.

_Everythings, gone all wrong...._

He started, looking properly at his hand "_woah..." _his mind said to him _"_Christ alive you just wanted your hand to bleed. Okay, CALM!! you've lost Yuu-chan for good now but that's no reason to emo out...." he looked back at his reflection, hoping his mind could offer him a reply. However, he didn't like the one he got....

_yes it does._

"well, you can shut up then brain...."

_what have I done?_

_But you know full well that its true, what other reason do you have now you've lost all that was important to you??_

He looked at his hand again. "wow, I get nasty when I'm sad...."

_what have I done?_

But he knew all that he was thinking was true. He slid down the small amount of wall offered under the sink until he was sat on his knees, trying desperately to think of something that wouldn't either have him curled up crying his heart out or ready to go and pull Kanda or Allen's insides out.

_Find a deep cave to hide in....._

Giving up, he put his head on his arms and just let the tears fall. Closing his eyes, he could still see memories of **that** day....

"_**you know you're an idiot, right??"**_

"_**well, thanks for helping me out. Really appreciate it" he sniffed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.**_

_**Kanda sighed. "I just meant, you always assume you're alone. I do exist you know...."**_

"_**I never denied that you do."**_

"_**Che. Never mind then."**_

"_**Alright, sorry. I'm listening now."**_

_**Kanda looked at him in an almost sad way, whispering something in Japanese Lavi didn't understand. "Kimi wa hitori ja nai..... hontou ni"**_

"_**Wha??"**_

"_**Che, like I said, you're an idiot"**_

Lavi snapped his eyes open. He didn't want to remember that, not now. It only reminded him of exactly what he'd lost.

_In a million years they'll find me...._

He mentally shook himself, loosing the image partially before closing his eyes again. Except now the image in his head was of his one and only with his tongue down that sinfully cute Allen Walker's throat.

_Only dust..... and a plaque...._

The tears kept on coming as he hit his head against the cabinet trying so hard to shake that image, one that he was positive would kill him.

_That read here lies poor old--_

"Lavi??"

There was knocking at his door which he would much rather have ignored. However, Allen continued his knocking.

"please Lavi, open up..... I'm sorry, please don't hate m- um, us"

_so theres an us now?!?!? jeez they don't hang around do they....._

"sorry Allen, no can do I'm busy painting my toenails right now" he called out in an over cheery voice. Allen noticed.

"Lavi please, let me explain...."

"damn you're talented, you can talk AND stick you're tongue down peoples throats!! clap clap, have a GCSE **1**...."

"Don't be like that..."

"Like what??"

"Like a fucking childish twat." aaw yay, Kanda was joining in. "now open this god damn door before I kick it in!!"

"Go ahead, gives me a good excuse to have a new door...." he'd meant to whisper it, but evidently Kanda had super-sonic hearing. So he commenced with kicking the damn thing in.

"Jesus woah calm down Yuu-chan--"

"call me that again and you'll get your head through the door"

"But--"

"and don't bother trying to say anything clever either, baka usagi. O-pen-it-NOW!!!" each word was punctuated by a kick to Lavi's poor door. So, with a quick motion to get rid of his lingering tears, Lavi stood up and wrenched the door open.

"Can I help you ladies with something??"

--------------------------------

**1** the grade system used for people aged 14-16 in English high schools :0 over the years they have gotten considerably easier, so the joke is that you can get one for doing practically nothing xD (but it's REALLY not that easy, trust me :O)

Openings suck -.-

Sorry if it seemed a little songfic-ish (I got told it was by YOU HIKARI-TAN!!!!!! T3T)

Thank-you for reading!! ^^

Owari.


	2. Chapter 2

(title less 02)

Lavi sat swooshing his drink around he glass, thoroughly bored but not wanting to return home. After letting Allen and Kanda into his room to "talk" all that'd happened was Allen had tried explaining something and Kanda had stood..... very close to him. Anyone could see from a mile off that these two blatantly didn't 'hate' each other as thy had proclaimed many times before getting caught. Even seeing them standing together reminded Lavi all too well of the new made situation and it hurt. It hurt like a bitch and, strong as he may be he couldn't cope with that.

So he'd garbled something that he wasn't even sure made sense (and by the looks on those twos faces it most likely didn't) and ran out. He'd kept on running until he found himself in a small town, most likely the one local to the order. Finding the first place that was warm and would let him in this late, Lavi found himself in this rather lively pub, drinking something he'd gotten for free off the barmaid. He was pretty sure that he shouldn't be drinking something he hadn't ordered incase someone had done something to it, but he was thirsty so didn't complain.

Sitting there completely flopped on his arms, one extended slightly to reach his drink, Lavi looked the picture of misery.

"You okay sugar?" the barmaid asked him, walking past with a tray teetering with glasses, both empty and full.

"Sure. Positively yippy-skippy happy off my god damn head...." though it was something that should offend people, Lavi's tone of voice was so melancholy and far away it didn't really do it's job.

"I can see...." she sat down next to him, placing the over crowded tray on the table next to where she sat. "why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

He looked at her sideways through the gap in his arms "why?"

"coz you look like you need someone to talk to" she smiled and put her hand on his arm.

"I do?"

"yeah, so come on sugar, talk to me" nice as she was, she wouldn't be able to help. Lavi couldn't be bothered to keep talking when there was no point. He wanted to be alone.

"Think I'd rather be alone ya know...."

"It'll help to talk to someone, trust me" she was edging closer and closer each second, sweet smile still intact. He could smell her over strong perfume.

"you're pretty close"

"how 'bout you change that to just 'you're pretty'?"

"okay, you're pretty"

She smiled again, moving in very very close now. "well how nice of you to say, sug--"

"don't bother kay??"

He looked back at his drink. She just looked at him "why? Thought you said I was pretty...."

"well you are. Just..... not my type, kay?"

"oh god I've gone after a gay again haven't I?"

"umm.... Yes?"

Blushing deeply and apologising more then necessary she left, leaving her tray behind. Lavi was finally alone.

He looked at his 'twin' bouncing around the room with a look of sheer humour if not a little confusion. He knew exactly what he was thinking, obviously, so was wondering why jump around like a fool when you're tired?

"ssssssssslleep" he said in what appeared to be a random way to the others in the room, pointing at his counter-part.

"don't wanna"

"yeah you do"

"don't make him stop, I've just got the peanuts to throw at him" Road was stood in the doorway with a tub of peanuts. It looked too big for any purpose other then for eating before hibernation.

"You really need all those?" Debitto asked the smaller girl.

"I like peanuts" Jasdero chimed. "_no you don't" _Debitto thought _"they taste funny and leave little bits of stuff in your teeth"_

"_yeah, but she doesn't know that does she?? and it's not like I'm gonna be eating them, just dancing in them!!"_

"_why always contradict yourself??"_

"_nah that's your job"_

With a sigh Debitto grabbed a handful of peanuts and threw them at Jasdero who 'aah!!'d him.

"now go to bed"

"you're no fun Deb....."

"I'm more then fun!! But you being tired's making me tired so screw off"

Without complaining, Jasdero left the main room of the Noah house to the room he shared with Debitto.

"Why didn't **you** just sleep?" Road asked, most disappointed that her monkey had been taken away from her.

"coz--"

"because, relo, Jasdebi only needs to rest half its brain at a time relo. So as Jasdero feels the tiredness now, Debitto will not be able to sleep as his half is need for other tasks relo!!" the Earls Golem, Relo, said.

"hah, you got told by an umbrella!! but yeah thanks I could probably of said that in a quarter of the words...." Debitto shifted position so that he was taking up most of the sofa. Not that anyone wanted it anyway.

"So speaking of tasks, how would you like to help me out young Debitto?" The Earl had risen from his overly big chair to be a little closed to his object of conversation.

"Ha?"

"We need a venue for yours and Jasdero's party!!"

"I get a party? Sweet..."

"To celebrate you joining the Noah clan, we do it every year you know....." He stopped to clean his glasses, wiping away some imaginary dirt before becoming very fastenated with the lenses.

Debitto's eyes drifted around the room, easily bored. When they landed on Tyki he noticed him staring at him _"how long's he been staring at me for?"_ . Feeling uncomfortable, Debitto shifted his gaze back to the Earl.

"umm..... Hakushaku-tama??" Relo bounced up to him, nudging his arm so as to wake him from his new found fastenation.

"Hmm?? Oh right of course. So Debitto, wrong as it my seem you do need to be choosing the venue and as we're all sleepy and most places will be booked up before next week, would you go and see if theres anywhere now??"

"But it's cold!!"

"You're used to it..." First time that evening that Tyki had spoken and it was only to say something cold to him. Debitto looked at his feet which had found there way back to the ground.

"Yeah, you live with Uncle Tyki after all!!" Road piped up, glomping her 'uncle'.

"It's not too cold Debitto, and I know it's stupid to ask you to go this late but we all want it to be great and... well..."

"Ya forgot to sort it out sooner"

"Pretty much yeah."

Debitto gave a small sigh, simply for not wanting to move rather then reluctance to do something the Earl wanted. He got up and headed for the door "I'll be back when I'm back. If I get bored and start drinking them be prepared to have to come pick me up mmkay??"

"sure, Tyki will pick you up"

Debitto swallow and turned to leave. He wasn't particularly sure how safe he'd be drunk with Tyki around.

Debitto walked into a pub. He'd tried about three places and then gotten bored, so he came here to drink and maybe if he could be bothered ask about a venue. Walking through the almost crowded place to get to the bar Debitto almost walked into a woman who was blushing and hurrying in the opposite direction. He looked around to see if there could possibly be anybody willing to sell him a venue at this time of night who wasn't gonna rip him off or try selling him drugs.

He went to the bar to order when he saw a guy sitting at a table completely alone save a tray of glasses. He looked practically dead, flopped over his arms like that. His hair was bright red and looked much more alive then it's host.

The bartender saw him looking. "I wouldn't bother if I were you, he's been sat there for almost 3 hours and only had one drink which he got free. Guys practically like a zombie... wonder what's happened to him.... hmm"

The bartender had started talking to himself while unconsciously making about four drinks. Debitto grabbed two and chucked some money at the bartender. "Well I'm good at making people talk so catch ya later!!"

With that he left the bartender still musing over the red haired man as Debitto sat down next to him

"Whats with all the glasses?"

"Eh?"

The red head didn't even look at him, just inclined his head slightly to the sound of a guys voice.

"Look, I bought you a drink" Placing it in front of the guy who just looked at it. "now what's your name?"

"Santa Clause...."

"Who?? But that's not even a real name, now tell me before I tip that thing over you"

"Why do you care?" The red-head finally looked at Debitto, who noticed then that he was wearing an eye patch. The guy must stand out a mile in any normal crowd. "What the fuck does it matter to you? You've JUST met me, I didn't even ask you over hear you just...... Say, what's up with your eye?"

"It's make up you dolt"

"..... Aren't you a guy?"

"Yup"

"Right.... So, isn't it only girls that wear make up?"

"Evidently not"

The red-head looked at him like he was from anther planet. "L-Lavi....."

"Huh??"

"my name" he went back to putting his head on his arms, only this time facing Debitto "is Lavi."

Lavi had noticed as soon as he'd looked at the guy. His skin was dark but not tanned and there were clearly scars on his head covered by his hair. But he hadn't suspected Lavi in the slightest, probably because Lavi had left his exorcist coat back at the order. Now this Noah, Debitto Lavi remembered being told his name was, was gabbling away about some party that he was having and how it 'sucked' coz he had to organise it. It struck Lavi as odd that he was talking away to a Noah and doing nothing about it. He presumed his 'Yuu-induced' bad mood was stopping him from caring that this guy was meant to be his absolute enemy.

"....And then Jas started claiming he wanted to dance with the peanuts – I mean come on, that was just weird!!! He only said it coz he likes it when people say he's weird – makes him feel special...."

"how do you know?"

"Eh?"

Lavi turned so that he was looking at Debitto full on "Well, how do you know that's the only reason he's doing it? I mean, he might ACTUALLY wanna dance in peanuts, why are you so sure that he's just, like, pretending or, what, trying to be weird or something?"

".....It's complicated"

"So am I. Now, repeat: I know why because....."

"He's my twin, fucktard"

Lavi blinked "well that wasn't complicated.... And there's no need to get defensive"

This guy that had been talking so freely about absolutely everything with a doofy grin was now being serious, looking Lavi straight in the eye "you wouldn't understand..."

"Bet you I would!!"

"Pfft, yeah right, coz it makes perfect sense...." His laid back demeanour was back "why am I even telling you this? Nothing to do with you, so butt out"

"Che" Lavi leaned forward, slightly aware that he'd just che'd "you should tell me coz you've been yapping away, and now that a topic that should be very simple to talk about arises, you're shutting up!! So I'm intrigued..... do tell"

"..... We're the same person"

"EH?!?!"

Debitto looked down at his feet, which he'd brought up so as to hug his knees "told ya you wouldn't understand....."

"It's a little confusing is all... explain maybe?"

"What's there to explain? We're the same person, well one person split into two, like the same personality but different traits from that person separated to-- what." It was more of a command then a question.

"you're doing a damn good job explaining is all" he said with a smile. He'd been listening quite intently, his chin in his palm, absorbing the short explanation Debitto had given. Debitto felt very exposed, why was this guy so interested in what he said anyway? Only a moment ago he'd been like a corpse and yelling at him just for asking his name. Now he was chatting back-- he'd even laughed a second ago.

"you're very understanding, aren't you?"

"well, I don't really understand how things work with Noah so I be--"

Debitto started. "N-Noah?? Uh, what's that? You mean like in the bible? The guy with the ship? Well, ur, I don't see how that has any relation with anything, I mean, it's not like we're in a church-- not saying this place isn't nice or anything just that you know...." He'd been speaking very fast so as to hopefully draw Lavi away from his correct assumption. However, it only proved that he'd been right.

Lavi looked at Debitto, all innocent eyes "but you're a member of the Noah clan, aren't you? Why deny all knowledge??"

Debitto glared at him "how do you know about that?"

Lavi laughed lightly "you know, for a Noah you're really nice. I could get along with you real good" he smiled, putting a hand on Debitto's back "and don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you!! I don't really have any reason to go back and get some of the other exorcists to capture you and stuff...." Debitto was staring wide eyed at him now, mouth open ".... coz like I said, you're a nice guy and just coz we're 'enemies' doesn't mean I'm gonna attack you!! coz like..... yeah. I don't wanna. Ahaha..." he trailed off there, realising how much of a a doof he sounded like.

"......So you're an exorcist?"

"Yup"

"...... The Earl's gonna kill me for saying this ya know" he said rubbing his eye lazily "but I don't care much for killing ya. So you live and go buy me a drink, I bought the last 3"

Lavi smiled before getting up to buy the drinks. It honestly didn't matter to him that he was sitting and talking to a Noah coz the guy was so damn normal. Well, normals not the word, what with his outlandish make up and clothes that kinda make him look like a whore, but human. Yeah all Noahs are human but they rarely act like it.

As he was buying the drinks he wondered what was wrong with him. He was making excuses for that Noah just coz he seemed nice. That was wrong. Very wrong. He decided to be a little warier of Debitto when he went back because at this rate the guy would be about to kill him and Lavi wouldn't believe it was him because he was his friend.

It was then Lavi realised that he was already considering this guy as his friend.

Debitto looked up and decided that watching Lavi to make sure he didn't spike his drink would be a good plan. It hadn't even occurred to him that Lavi could possibly be an exorcist, and it just wouldn't sink in. He'd have to be wary of the man now, to save himself from any sudden attacks that were probably in his future. Even though Lavi had let him talk to him, he was surely plotting something.

Except that Lavi had known the whole time and not done anything.

He'd realised that Debitto was a Noah probably as soon as he saw him.

Yet he still let him talk away, he was nice and was even up buying drinks now. He couldn't be _that_ bad.... If he was he would have attacked Debitto long before. Exorcists weren't well known for deceiving the enemy so as to kill them. Exorcists had the power to kill them right then and there. Deceiving was the Noah's job.

Debitto decided to just go for it. If Lavi attacked him, he'd attack back.

It'd been a long time since he'd had a friend.

Lavi came over and sat back with Debitto, giving him his drink. He made a mental note to not have any more alcohol incase Debitto did decide to attack him.

As he sat down he did not for a second expect to hear the words that left Debitto's mouth.

"Lavi...."

"Uhuh?"

"....Will you be my friend?"

Owari.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, three is here!! :)**

**And..... We checked.... His name really is Devit o.o (woops......) HOWEVER!!! I have started using Debitto so I will continue :)**

**Ignore the big space under the first paragraph, I cant get rid of it :(**

**xoxox**

Allen put his knife and fork down. After finishing his 7th plate of food (and still being hungry), he cleaned up and went to sit with Kanda. Since Lavi had caught the two of them kissing a couple of hours ago Allen hadn't seen Kanda, who'd been so preoccupied with his thoughts despite his claims that he didn't care what the 'damn rabbit' thought. Allen didn't understand exactly WHY Lavi had been so bothered by him and Kanda, only that he had been. Maybe he was homophobic? But somehow, Lavi didn't seem like the kind of person to judge someone simply on their tastes.

Allen had gone to the cafeteria (even though it was the middle of the night) to eat food and take his mind off the earlier events. Once he got there, he had found Kanda sitting alone with an abandoned plate on soba staring at the table. Allen decided it was best to leave him so sat at a different table (though he was close enough so that he could watch his love interest). However, after he had finished eating he couldn't take it anymore.

With a small thump he sat down next to Kanda.

"Jesus Moyashi way to scare the shit outta me" Kanda breathed, clutching at his chest.

"Sorry...... So, whatcha doing??"

"what do you mean?"

"well..... you were staring at the table....."

"oh."

Kanda really wasn't paying attention to Allen, much to his dismay. He sighed and put his chin in his hands.

_You're not as important to him as Lavi._

Allen started, wondering where that thought had come from. He looked up at Kanda, who had again taken up table-staring. When he thought about it, he guessed that was probably true. Kanda had known Lavi for a lot longer then he had known Allen, they had a whole history that Allen was no part of. Deep in the pit of his stomach, Allen could feel jealousy kick in. _"It's not like I don't want them being friends......" _he thought to himself _"just that bet you any money Lavi knows him better then I do....... No, jealousy is bad. Not like I was jealous anyway!!"_

"you okay Moyashi?" Kanda asked him, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"uwhu? Oh, right, sorry I'm miles away," he replied with a cute smile.

_Tell me what I am to you._

Kanda muttered something like 'baka moyashi' before continuing his stare out with the table.

"_Even the god damn table gets more attention then me....."_

_What am I to you, Kanda Yuu??_

"Kanda....."

"hmm?"

"...Look at me."

Allen's tone of voice made Kanda comply to what he had asked. He'd never heard his moyashi sound so quiet and desperately miserable that it shocked Kanda.

"What's up, Moyashi?"

"That's not my name......"

"It is to me."

Not caring enough to answer, Allen continued "Kanda.... What am I to you?"

Kanda blinked at him. "huh?"

"It's a simple question.... And don't worry about hurting my feelings, I can take it......"

Kanda looked at him, dumbstruck. "How.... What....?"

Allen stood to leave "look it doesn't matter, it's obvious you made a mistake.... go find Lavi, that is your priority, right?" _"I'll just go cry on Lenalee's shoulder for a couple of hours."_

Before he could leave he felt his hand (so evidently the rest of him too) be pulled back down to sit by Kanda.

"Explain."

"Explain what?"

"Why you're saying things like this." He looked Allen full in the eyes, his usual glare gone and a look of mild interest was in it's place. Allen couldn't help staring, he could of stayed like that for hours if only Kanda would let him. The man really did have beautiful eyes....

"Moyashi??"

"uwhu?"

"You're gorming."

"Oh!!" Blushing, he looked away from Kanda _"bakabakabakabakabakabakabaka!!!!!!!!"_

"Jesus Christ Allen, look alive..."

Allen stared at him "You-you said my name...."

Kanda's eyes grew slightly in shock before returning to their normal size. Anyone who didn't know him as well as Allen did probably wouldn't have even noticed.

"Anyway, why are you garbling on about Lavi? I mean, sure we have to find him and such, maybe even apologise... Jeez that rabbit's gonna hate me now.... I mean, I don't care but it'll get annoying with him in a hissy fit all the--"

"I love you."

Kanda blinked again, looking round at Allen. "C-come again?"

Allen only sat, eyes wide. _"Oh Jesus Christ he's gonna kill me now isn't he? Oh jeez oh shit oh crap ALLEN WALKER YOU ARE AN IDIOT YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO TALK TO PEOPLE ESPECILLY NOT KANDAS!!!_

"yoohoo, Allen...."

"I uh um I ah GOME-um-GOMENYSASohwhatsit.......How do you say I'm sorry in Japanese again?"

Kanda che'd. "Gomen nasai..." he said under his breath.

"yeah, that...... Dammit I still don't remember how to say it....."

Kanda couldn't help but smile slightly. He hoped beyond hope that Allen had just confessed without thinking first rather than said it just to shut him up. And he hoped that one day he would be able to say the same thing back, if his pride would ever let him....

"So.... the Moyashi has fallen in love eh?" Best to check, in case it had been to silence him.

But Allen's red face said otherwise. "I ah um I didn't oh jeepers.... please don't hate me Kanda I'm sorry I shouldn't of said it but oh heck it's true I just I'm sorry please forgive me I didn't mean to say it, well I intended to say it but not like that coz that was stupid oh Lord listen to me babble you must think I'm a complete freak I SHOULDN'T TALK TO PEOPLE!!! GOMEZNASY--"

However Allen didn't finish his awful attempt at speaking Japanese as he was silenced by Kanda's lips on his.

It only lasted a second, but it was more then enough to stop Allen mid-rant.

Kanda stood, abandoning his soba and extended a hand to Allen. "Come with me."

"whu?"Allen burbled, still very much in a trance from his fleeting kiss.

"Looks like someone needs to explain it to you, so it might as well be me...."

Allen took his hand, loving the feel of Kanda's skin against his own and expecting the worst, like Kanda was pregnant with Lavi's child or something weird like that.......

Lavi blinked. Then he blinked again.

"Ha?"

He was looking at the boy sitting across the table from him, hugging his knees in a very defensive manner.

"_Well you screwed that up royally, Debitto. Congratulations, have a GCSE.... _**(1)**_"_

Lavi just sat oggling. "Did you.... just ask to be my friend?"

Debitto sniffed, "Yeah sure, go ahead and laugh. Don't tell me, I'm not good enough for you am I right? Not my damn fault I'm no good at making friends..... How else am I supposed to make them?"

"KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And then, Debitto was glomped by a flying Lavi.

"GYYAAAA!!!!!!!" he screamed, "what the hell you doing, man?!?! Get the hell offa me!!!"

"But you're so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute...." Lavi answered, nuzzling Debitto with his cheek.

"Kk- Jesus will you just- I'M NOT A FREAKIN' CAT!!"

Lavi halted his nuzzling momentarily to look hard at Debitto, "..... You'd make a good cat..."

"I'd what?!"

"Make a very good cat," He sat up slightly and started petting Debitto's head. "Kawaii neko... Boku no kawaii neko...aaaaaaaiiiishiteru, neko-chan....ehe...."

Lavi proceeded to nuzzle, happily yapping away on a very scared Debitto (**2**).

"Uuh.... Stop any time you want big guy..."

It was just enough to snap Lavi out of his trance. "Yeah so.... Nice weather we're having huh??"

"It's 2 in the morning."

"Che, fine then, rain on my parade why don't you...." it was the second time that night he'd che'd.

Debitto laughed lightly. He liked Lavi when he was in a good mood, he was so abnormal it made Debitto feel fairly sane. He also allowed him to forget everything and just have a good time.

"_I'm so much happier when I'm with you Lavi..... You let me escape from hell...."_

------

After being led to Kanda's room Allen found him self stood facing the man who had in turn sat on the bed. He looked troubled, thoughtful even. Allen wondered exactly what he was about to be told.

"Kanda.....?"

"Okay," He stated, looking up at the boy he lov-- "you know I'm not one to boast about myself so this is ABSOLUTELY not for that purpose, you follow?" Allen nodded. "Good....." Kanda sighed, "okay, the reason why I'm acting a little strange at the thought of Lavi finding us.... Like that...... is because...." he scratched the back of his head, not entirely sure how to word what he wanted to say.

Allen went and sat down next to Kanda on the bed. "Is because....?" he probed gently, wanting to help his love say what he wanted without him feeling like he was being forced into it.

"...... Lavi..... Likes me" he finally managed to utter, "you know- the way I like you."

"In that case," Allen said, running his fingers through Kanda's hair, "I really really hope he likes you a whole damn lot-- loves you even.... That way I'll know how you feel...." he smiled his cute smile again in hope that Kanda would go on. In all honesty, Allen hoped that Lavi didn't like him that much because 1) he'd have competition over Kanda an 2) he would be in a one-sided love, which hurt so much as Allen knew from his past experience with Kanda. He cared about Lavi a whole lot too, he didn't want to see his best friend have his heart broken....

Then it sunk in.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Allen jumped back, completely shocked. "Lavi.... Lavi _likes_ you?!?! I thought he was straight!!!!"

"Not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?"

"Shut up, I didn't realise..."

"Che."

"But, even so.... wow. Didn't see that one coming..."

"Neither did I. That's why it freaked me out."

"Hn?"

Kanda sighed again. "When.... he told me, I had no idea what the hell I should do. He was my best friend and had been for at least a year..... I forget how long ago it was..." He ran his hand through his long hair, removing the hair tie as he did so. "I'd never expected that from him. He was the only person I'd let in and..... In a way, I guess I felt a little betrayed. It's stupid I know, but I was 16 at the time...."

"...I understand how you would think that.... Sorry I'm still in shock a little.... You wouldn't think Lavi even _had _deep feelings...."

"Don't say that, Moyashi."

Kanda's eyes looked as though he was in pain, as if from a bad memory. "Kanda...?"

"It's nothing. The only reason that Lavi acts like that now is... because of me. He was so different before..... Still a complete liar, especially about his past..... But he was easy to talk to, you know? He seems so _fake _nowadays.... I don't like it."

Allen had to admit he was a little shocked. One because Kanda was so upset by it all, two because Lavi had apparently had a personality change before he had arrived at the order and because, well, he'd just found out that Lavi liked Kanda, after all.

"Kanda...."

"Heh, is that all you can say?"

"It does seem that way..."

Kanda gave a small laugh before returning to his story. "I.... Was quite cruel to Lavi actually..." he looked away from Allen, "I said some things in the heat of the moment which I really shouldn't have.... I regretted it almost as soon as the words left my mouth." He let out anther sigh, "I know full well that he'll never forgive me, especially not now, but if I could take those words back I'd do it in a second. Just looking at him you could tell he was dying inside...."

Allen felt for Kanda, really felt for him. No way would Lavi be able to trust him after that, and then he'd seen Allen and Kanda together.

Allen didn't even want to imagine how much pain Lavi was in, let alone how bad it was for Kanda.

"What.... What did you say to him?"

"I don't think that's important..."

"I do."

"Well tough." The usual, cold Kanda was back. In a way, Allen was relieved.

"Fine, I'll just have to ask Lavi when I see him next..."

"IF you see him next."

Allen stared "what are you implying?"

"Well, have you seen what time it is....?"

After quite a bit more alcohol (Lavi abandoned his resolve, Debitto got drunk quicker than he did anyway) Debitto was convinced into buying the pub as his venue.

"Wahooooo!!!!!!!! Par-tay!! you're invited!!" he said, clinging to the bar man.

"thanks, but I think I'll have to decline..."

"Aaaaw, but it'll be FUN!!!"

"Thanks but..."

"Hey Debi-chan!! I wanna go look at the bridge!! THEY HAVE LITTLE LIGHTS UP!!!"

"Fuck yeah lets go!!"

Debitto fell on Lavi who half dragged him out the door. The two were singing very out of tune, and after about half of the song they forgot what it was they had been singing. They evidently found this absolutely hilarious, practically keeling over with laughter.

"Look!!" Debitto said after laughing so hard he was nearly crying. "I live there."

"where?"

"just over there, behind the REEEEEEAAALLY big hill!!"

"That's not a hill!!"

"Oh my God, what is it!!"

"A.... A MONKEY!!!!"

They both started screaming with laughter again, until Debitto fell over.

"I have not been this wankered since my birthday...."

"Fun, in it?"

"FUCK YEAH!!"

He scrabbled his way back to his feet, clinging to Lavi.

"I live...." Lavi said, spinning around to find the location where he lived and failing miserably, "Ah damn I've lost my home...."

This seemed hilarious to Debitto.

"You've lost your home!!!! HAAA!!!! You'll have to sleep OUTSIDE now like a little hobo..... Heehee, hobo...."

"Che, no it's YOUR fault. I'll just stay with you tonight." he decided, falling on Debitto yet again.

"But my daddy will get cross!!! HAHA!!!"

"Then I'll.... I dunno, bake him a cake or something...."

"Make me a cake, bitch. OH YEAH, and I expect to see you there on Friday..... with a cake, ehe..."

"Cool, only if you buy me booze though Debi-chan."

"Fuck off."

It then seemed like a good idea to Debitto to pull his top off and jump into the river. "FUCK ME IT'S COLD IN HERE!!!!"

Lavi laughed hysterically "And if I don't WANT to fuck you?"

"Then do it anyway!! HAHA!!" he decided, climbing out of the river part way before slipping back in again. On his second attempt Lavi tried to help him, only to be pulled in as well. "Jesus fuck it really is cold in here!!"

"Told ya so!!" Debitto said with a laugh. "Sure is fun once you get used to it though...."

"If ya gettin' used used to it then it's high time we got OUTTA here me thinks."

And so, with a hell of a lot of struggling and drunken laughter, they managed to make their way out of the river.

"Boy oh boy what fun...."

"HE'S GONE BRITISH ON ME!!"

"Fuck off Lavi boy, if I wanted to be 'British' then I'd talk about the Queen!!"

"True that, true that...." Lavi turned around, "Say..... Let's go buy eggs."

"Ha?"

"So I can make my cake for your daddy." He said, lop-sided smile intact.

"We have eggs at home though. And my Tyki will be mad too..."

"Your wha?"

Debitto started, looking up at Lavi. "..... I didn't say anything...."

"Yeah ya did, 'Tyki' or something..... What's that, your pet dog?"

"Far from a pet dude haha."

"What then?"

"DOESN'T MATTER!!!"

"Eh?!?! Whoa chill don't get all angsty on me dude."

"Shaddup. Now I'm going home and you're not coming...."

"PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Nope."

Lavi hugged Debitto tight around the middle. "How 'bout now?"

"Still no."

Lavi che'd again. "You're mean.... Fine, I'll just freeze on the cold hard streets then shall I?!?!"

"If you'd like."

"NO I WOULD NOT LIKE!!!! C'mon, I'll buy you ALL the booze ya want at your party!! And I'll make you THREE cakes – no, make it FOUR!! And you'll get super awesome present. Go on, don't pull a Yuu-chan!!"

"Who?"

It was Lavi's turn to freeze. "N-no one important...." _"To you...."_

"Alright, buy me all the booze I want, make me a SINGLE cake, no way in hell will I be able to eat four, get me a present AND tell me who that person is and I'll let you stay!!"

"You drive a hard bargain, kind sir...."

"That I do. Don't worry, I'm a complete dullard when I'm sober!!"

"I'll hold you to your word... Now take me home, strong knight!!"

"As you wish princess!!"

So they walked (ahem, stumbled) back to the Noah mansion (eventually), soaking wet and giggling about the fact that Lavi was a 'princess'. But, being the childish guys they were, they also stopped off at the only bar still open at this time for a couple of beers (Before being thrown out for being too rowdy.).

Finally, they made it back to the mansion at 4:30 A.M.

Crashing in through the front door, the two were met by Tyki sat in a plush chair reading.

"Well you look like you had a good time, Bi. **(3)**"

"Sure as fuck did!! Where's the Earl, Lavi's promised him a cake..."

Out in the hall Tyki heard a man's voice shout out "THAT WAS A FREAKIN BRIBE!!!". He set his book down and went to look at Debitto's companion.

The man in front of him would have been fairly tall had he not been slumped next to a wall, with flaming red hair, an eye patch covering one of his emerald green eyes. Tyki supposed the man would be attractive, had he not been giggling like a seven year old girl at what appeared to be a piece of fluff.

"You have a strange taste in men...."

"Shaddup Tyk I ain't screwin' him. Lavi's my friend!!! Yay!!" he declared before tripping over Lavi's feet, falling flat on his face.

"I think you two should get some sleep before the Earl sees you...."

"Aaaw, but what about his cake?"

"Give it to him in the morning. Come on now, sleep."

"Tyki's not mad?" Debitto asked from the floor, attempting to get up as Lavi sat laughing at his back.

"Of course not Bi, but if you don't hurry up to bed then I might just get angry..... Come on. Hurry up you two..." attempting to usher the two drunk teenagers up to their feet.

"Eehee.... You're so nice Tyki.... Tyyykkii........" Debitto wrapped his arms around Tyki's neck before giggling into his chest.

"You stink of alcohol...."

"I wonder why THAT is!! haha...."

"Debitto," H said, pulling the boy off him so that he could look straight at him, "Get up to your fucking room before I write a whole damn BOOK on you.... **(4)"** He whispered so as Lavi couldn't hear them.

"Y-yes Tyki...." Debitto replied timidly, walking over to Lavi and booting him in the leg. " Get up stinky, I ain't draggin ya."

Some how, 15 minutes later, both of them were in the room Debitto and Jasdero shared, drinking a lot of water.

"I feel sick...."

"Chuck up on me and you're outta here..."

"Aww, Debi-chan, don't make me sleep on the floor, it's cold....."

"Well where else am I meant to put ya?!"

"....I could sleep with you?"

"Ha?"

"Decided, I'm staying here." Lavi said, jumping under the covers, "If you wanna sleep here too then you're gonna hafta share with moi."

"Che." Debitto tried the word out, hopping in next to Lavi.

"So.... You owe me an explanation."

"I do?"

"Yeah."

"'Bout what?"

"The person."

"...Person?"

"Yeah, what's 'is name..... You or something..."

"....Yuu-chan."

"THAT'S IT!!"

"WOULD YOU TWO BOTH SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!'"

"HA?!?" They turned in unison to see Jasdero glowering at them from his bed.

"It is so damn hard to sleep with you two blabbing away..... And Deb, sober the hell up, you're hurting my head."

"Sorry my lovely!! We'll whisper, mmkay??"

"Thank you."

"Is that your twin??" Lavi asked in a whisper.

"Yarp. Jasdero is his name."

"_SORRY JASDERO!"_ Lavi stage whispered, "_we'll shut up now!!"_

"I think he's asleep..."

"Oh okay then."

They turned slightly so they were facing each other. Still whispering, Debitto said, "So tell me about Yuu-chan."

"Che, not much to say, just that I've been in love with him for almost three years now..."

"Really!?!"

"Ya-ha."

"Well that's quite a big thing ya know...."

"Hm....."

"So, what's he like?? Tell me tell me!!" It didn't bother Debitto that he was sharing a bed with an EXORCIST he had JUST MET who'd just told him that he LIKED GUYS. Coz Debitto's thick like that.

When Lavi didn't answer he gave him a little nudge, "Lavi?"

Still no answer. Lavi had fallen asleep on Debitto's arm.

"Che.... fine, sleep then."

Within 5 minutes Debitto was sleeping soundly, his head resting lightly on top of Lavi's.

…**.Omg the cuteness xDD**

**REVIEWS are much appreciated :)**

**(1) Ahaha, notice the GCSE joke again? XD that'll appear a lot in this fic :3**

**(2) For those of you that have seen Clannad, Lavi is pulling a Fuuko here x3**

**(3) Read this as 'bee'. It's bi from the middle of his name (the way I spell it xD)**

**(4) You will not understand this!!!! However, all will be revealed in later chapters 8D**

**Hope you enjoyed reading x) **

**Owari.**


	4. Chapter 4

Finding you 04

Lavi awoke the next morning with a severe headache. He groaned and shifted slightly, memories from the previous night flitting into his head. He remembered that he had met the Noah named Debitto last night and they'd gotten drunk..... Then there'd been a lot of talk about cake..... Aside from that it was hard to remember.

Lavi attempted to move slightly but his blanket was evidently wrapped around him as he couldn't move very far. His shift had left a small area of room between him and the blanket, which groaned at the sudden rush of cold air.

Then it struck Lavi. _".... Blankets don't groan..... or breathe, for that matter...."_

Lavi turned around, coming face to face with a sleeping Debitto.

Who was spooning him.

Lavi screamed.

Jumping from the bed in a fit of terror, Lavi scrambled for his top which he found strewn on the floor. He rammed it over his head, getting it twisted as Debitto sat up, shouting abuse at him for being so loud this early in the morning. Rubbing his eyes, he turned to see Lavi laying on the floor, struggling with his top. Debitto covered his eyes and ears with his hands, the noise and sunlight hurting them.

When Lavi looked at Debitto he felt glad that he was already used to the effects of alcohol. However bad his hangover was, Debitto's had to be at least 5 times worse.

His eyes were red from what Lavi had seen before he'd covered them, hair strewn everywhere. He was slouching horribly and when he spoke his voice sounded hoarse, as if he had strained it.

"Dude you look _rough_....."

"Love you too, Lavi."

"I'm not being mean or anything, just that..... yeah, you look rough."

"And that's not mean?"

"Well I didn't _mean _ it to be so..... well, sorry I offended."

Debitto scratched his head like a dog with fleas before looking at Lavi with his sore eyes. "How come you're here again?"

"I presume I slept over..... yeah that's it!!"

"Shh, not so _loud...."_

"Sorry, but I've remembered..... we were totally wasted and I couldn't find may way back to the order so you said I could stay, after _much_ persuasion.... So I stayed here and slept in your bed while you slept on the floor, but you had a nightmare and climbed into bed with me, telling me....'"I'm frightened, Lavi...... I won't feel safe unless it's your arms protecting me.."' or something like that, also saying something about how I was your hero....."

"Jesus fuck did I really?!"

Lavi contemplated telling the truth before deciding it would be more fun that way, "Nah, I just like messing with ya, ahaha!! Really I was cold so stayed here for a bit then fell asleeps."

"You are the devil in disguise, you know that?"

"I am aware of that, yes...."

Debitto laughed lightly before taking in the sight of his naked chest in front of his eyes. His eyes grew wide. "Wh-where's my top?"

"Hm? Oh you threw it off before jumping into a river..... it's probably still down there now..."

"N-no worries, I've got others....." he said, climbing gingerly out of the bed, holding his head gingerly and walking so his back was always toward the wall.

"Whatcha doin', Debi-chan?"

"Gettin' a top..... and my names not 'Debi-chan'."

"Well from this day on, it is, ahaha..."

"Che." Debitto stated, finding a top and pulling it delicately over his painful head.

Lavi stared at him, feeling the immense urge to hug him until he couldn't breathe. ".....You just said che...."

"Hm? Oh yeah, sorry I'm kinda stealing your word, ehe..."

"Nah, it's cute. Reminds me of Yuu-chan...."

With that Debitto looked up at Lavi, now fully dressed, "Which reminds ME, you never did tell me about that Yuu guy..."

"Heh, guess I didn't..... Oh and so that you know, everyone except me calls him 'Kanda'. Calling him Yuu will usually end up with you being very much dead."

"Then how come you get away with it?"

"Dunno, guess I'm just special, ahaha...."

"Heh, so I figured.... But why 'Kanda'?"

"It's his last name!"

"Haaaa? He likes to be called by his last name?"

"Well, he is Japanese...."

"Aaah, okay!! That makes more sense..."

Debitto moved to sit on the bed, beckoning for Lavi to join him. "So..... Will you tell me what happened?"

"...... We've only known each other for, what, 12 hours? I don't think--"

"Please."

Lavi just looked at him. Finally, with a sigh, he moved over and sat by his newly made friend.

"You don't have to buy me any alcohol at my party if you tell me, (no way am I touching that stuff again...)"

"So I'm still invited?"

"But of course!!"

They laughed together (regretting it straight afterwards as their heads groaned with the access noise.) as Lavi recalled his perfect memories of Kanda in his head.......

**Lavi walked along with his hands behind his head. Bookman was walking next to him, lecturing him about all the things he could and could not do as a soldier in this particular war, all of which Lavi already knew. He didn't care about going to this place, and a big part of him just wanted to quit being a Bookman so that he didn't have to cope with the same old, war after war, observing from the outside. It gave him a headache.**

"**.... You're not even listening to me, are you?" Bookman asked, giving Lavi a quick slap on the head.**

"**Aah!! And I am too listening, not like you need to say it....."**

"**You should take your job more seriously, Deke...."**

**Lavi blew air out threw his lips as if he were laughing at his mentor. "For the last time, Bookman, I'm not Deke anymore. Names Lavi, nice to meet you!" He said, extending his hand to Bookman, who very much ignored it. **

"**I have no time for your stupid games..... just hurry up and get inside." He said, walking off in front of Lavi.**

"**Yeah, yeah, I'm coming...." he said, following his mentor.**

**Arriving in the Black Order was like stepping into a dream world to Lavi. Everything was so surreal, people rushing around with huge stacks of paper, things constantly being blown up..... It was almost like being in a cartoon.**

**After Lavi and Bookman had been shown around by a very nice girl called Lenalee (who looked to be around 13), Lavi was shown to his room. It wasn't anything special, but it was enough for the apprentice Bookman (who spent most of his time in the library anyway.)**

**On that very day, Lavi had decided to explore the place he would now be calling home. Walking along one of the endless corridors, slightly distracted by the things going on in the rooms around him, he walked straight into somebody.**

"**Oof!!" he cried, being sent crashing back down to the ground as the other boy was too.**

"**Sorry about th-"**

**The Boy was on his feet in a matter of seconds, and Lavi found himself staring at the tip of a sword.**

"**You better watch where the fuck you're going, newbie."**

"**Hey, I said sorry!!"**

"**Che, and what good does a word do me? None, that's what." he growled, the sword now level with Lavi's neck.**

"**Look, big shot, if you're one to start a fight with some random guy you just met, then bring it the fuck on. But I warn you, I used to live on the streets so I ain't no cry baby...."**

"**You think that makes you tough? Che, you're nothing but a baby rabbit, caught in the headlights."**

"**You wanna say that again, fucker!?!?!"**

"**Sure, why not, if you're too thick to get it the first time. YOU ARE LIKE-"**

**But he couldn't finish his sentence as he was hit on the head by a clipboard. It was Lenalee.**

"**Kanda! Stop picking on the new guy!"**

"**....Che...."**

"**Thanks Lenalee, darlin', but I can take this retard any day of the week. Thinks he's so damn cool just coz he's got pretty sword...."**

"**WHAT YOU SAY, RABBIT?!?!"**

"**YOU WANNA START A WAR HERE OR WHAT?!?!"**

**They glared at each other over Lenalee, and as Kanda turned his head (apparently in disgust) away from the scene, Lavi took in his profile.**

**The boy was reasonably tall and slim, with long black-blue hair tied back in a high pony-tail. His eyes were deep sapphire colour and his voice deep, seductive in a way.**

**He really was a catch.**

"_**Fuck me I could screw that guy...."**_** Lavi thought to himself, watching Kanda play with the ends on his hair. He was practically beautiful, and held a grace about him that made him seem so dignified and mature, despite the way he had spoken to Lavi. It took a while for what Lavi had thought to himself to sink in.**

**He turned away, blushing. **_**"aaah, clever boy Lavi, you're fantasizing about some prick who's so far stuck up his own ass he'll probably never come down again, who is also a GUY, on your very first day!! Clap clap, have a GCSE...."**_

**Lenalee of course noticed the blush, "You okay Lavi? Don't worry about Kanda, he's a bitch to everyone." She said smiling, ignoring a the curses Kanda was throwing at her.**

"**Ahaha, well you are a bit of a bitch, Kanda-chan!" he said with an innocent smile in place.**

"**Che, fuck off rabbit. And don't you DARE call me that...."**

"**Well what shall I call you then?"**

"**Kanda."**

"**But EVERYONE calls you that!! I want to be individual...."**

"**Then why don't you go play hide and go fuck yourself." He said, turning away from them with so much dignity the Queen of England herself would be jealous.**

"_**Sure.... If you'd join me..." **_** Lavi thought to himself, staring at Kanda's back.**

**-----**

**For the next week Lavi was shown around by Lenalee most of the time when he wasn't in the library doing 'Bookman things' for his mentor. Lavi saw Kanda very rarely, usually only at dinner or sometimes in the hallway walking past with his evil aura intact. But those times were always the best, because although he couldn't sit and watch Kanda for as long as he wanted, at least he got to watch Kanda walk away once they'd past each other. Lavi liked watching Kanda walk away; the guy had a fantastic ass.**

**After a few weeks of attending the Black Order, Lavi was sent on his first mission, with none other then Kanda-the-bitch. Lavi was over the moon.**

"_**Just gotta be careful not to rape him in his sleep......" **_** he thought to himself, climbing onto the train and sitting in the seat opposite from Kanda, "**_**that man is so freakin' gorgeous it makes my teeth hurt...."**_

"**Something on my face?"**

"**Ha?"**

"**You're gaping at my like I'm a tasty piece of meat – why?"**

"_**You are a fuckin' tasty hunk a meat, ya little sex God...."**_** "Oh, sorry, just excited I guess, ahaha...."**

"**Che."**

"**How come that's all you ever say?" Lavi asked, sinking lower into his seat, "Lack of brain power or somethin'?"**

"**Shut up, baka usagi."**

"**I do know what that means you know."**

"**Eh?!"**

"**I can speak Japanese." He said, giving his sweetest smile with a little wink at the end. "I've gotta be able to read all languages, you know, Bookman stuff and all, and Japanese interested me so I learnt how to speak it too, ehehe...."**

"**....... Urusai, bakayaro."**

"**Iie, baka koneko."**

"**What the fuck?!?"**

"**Ahaha!!" Lavi said with a smile, "See, I'm just TOO CLEVER for you, Kanda!!" He was absolutely not about to tell Kanda that he could only speak a very limited amount of Japanese. Hopefully he'd be freaked by that enough not to ask anything Lavi didn't understand.**

**Thankfully, he didn't.**

**Throughout the journey, Lavi and Kanda were able to hold a conversation, Kanda for once in his life offering something back to someone, so as Lavi wasn't doing all the work. They carried on in this way until they had checked in and found their room. **

**Kanda strode in and claimed his bed. Not that he would have had to fight for it, as long as Lavi could sleep on it (and stare at Kanda while doing so), he didn't care which bed he got. After setting their things up, they were off searching for Akuma and asking townspeople for clues.**

**Lavi loved working with Kanda. Not only was the guy amazingly hot, he also worked hard so as to get the very best result he could. He truly was incredible.**

**Days had gone by with absolutely nothing so much as a whisper from an Akuma and the two were getting bored. To liven the boring trip up one night, Lavi stole a bottle of vodka from the bar across the street from them.**

"**Now THIS, my lovely Kanda-chan, will make the Akuma hunting all the more fun!!"**

"**You stole that?!"**

"**Yeah, what of it?"**

"**Well put it back! They'll notice it's gone, then they'll know it was you..."**

"**Nah, I was clever hehe. They didn't even know I was in there..."**

"**But even so, it's not right...."**

"**They ain't gonna miss one poxy bottle!"**

"**But they might!"**

"**Kanda-chan, shut up and drink."**

**In the time they had taken to have their conversation, Lavi had already sat on Kanda's bed and opened the bottle.**

**Kanda moved over to him, ready to snatch the bottle out of his hands and return it to it's rightful owners, when Lavi pulled his wrists so he was sitting next to him (and slightly on top of him, not that Lavi minded AT ALL.). Calling Lavi a 'baka usagi' and scrambling up, Kanda then turned to face his companion. "Fine. You win. I will have ONE GLASS if you stop calling me 'Kanda-chan'."**

"**Only one?! That ain't gonna do nought. Come on, sugar, be a dare devil for once in your life!!"**

"**And if I don't want to?"**

"**Pfft, you're boring.... What's your first name?"**

"**Huh?"**

"**Well, Kanda's your second name right? So I was wondering what your first was...."**

"**Nande monai, baka usagi."**

"**OH MY GOD YOU DON'T HAVE A FIRST NAME!?!?"**

"**....NOT what I meant...." He said, putting his face in his hands.**

**Lavi laughed uncomfortably before handing the bottle to Kanda, who tipped his head back and swallowed a mouthful of the clear liquid inside. He then almost dropped said bottle (which Lavi caught) and started gagging and retching, coughing something terrible too. Lavi put the bottle down on the side before hurriedly attending his now ill friend.**

"**You're not supposed to glug it, dummy..." Lavi said, holding Kanda's head against his chest briefly before slapping his back in an attempt to help him.**

"**Well NOW you tell me...." Kanda said between coughs. His stomach hurt, his mouth tasted disgusting and his head hurt from all the coughing. Never ever again would he drink that stuff.**

**Lavi took a small sip once Kanda had recovered somewhat, recoiling at the strong taste of the liquid.**

"**Geeh.."**

"**See, it's disgusting. Che, mister big head thinks he's so alcohol tolerant, YOU hate it too!!"**

"**It's not that....." Lavi said, looking for some glasses, "Just that I've never drunk it straight." Kanda gave him a non-understanding look so he continued, "You know, on it's own."**

**Kanda gave a small inclination of his head in realisation as Lavi fumbled around in the wardrobe for something.**

"**Say, what you looking for, rabbit?"**

"**Just.... In here..... Somewhere.... Where are ya, ya little bugger...... AAH! Found it!!" he chimed in a sing song voice, protruding 2 bottles, one of tonic water and one of cranberry juice **(1).

**Kanda stared hard at Lavi. "....Explain, before I vomit."**

"**Gaah don't do that! If ya mix the vodka with this it tastes real good...." he informed his friend while tipping a mixture of the three drinks into two cups.**

**Sitting down, Lavi handed Kanda his drink as he sipped his own.**

**Kanda eyed the liquid carefully, as if it might bite him. "You sure this is okay to drink?" he asked.**

"**Sure is!! don't worry, I didn't put too much vodka in it coz I know you didn't like your..... Last experience with it so much.... Ahaha!" he lifted his drink to his mouth, taking in half a mouthful before speaking again. "But it's still got a strong flavour so you will notice it quite a bit."Lavi was not about to tell Kanda that he had made his drink over 50% vodka. The samurai would surely kill him.**

**Kanda took a sip. It did taste pretty good, even though he could taste the alcohol rather strongly. He chugged the whole thing down before handing it back out to Lavi. "Thanks." he grunted, not used to the word. His chest felt funny and he felt the need to say this one reckless thing. "My name's Yuu." he stated, leaning back on his palms and looking up at the ceiling.**

"Yuu?"

"**Yeah. But could you throw -san on the end of that? It's weird having you call me just by my first name, seeing as we're not lovers...."**

**Lavi hated that. He wished so much that he could say that they **_**were**_** lovers. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to hold Kanda close to him, stroke his hair and tell him he was beautiful, tell him that he l--**

**Lavi stopped himself before he finished that thought. This lust thing was really getting out of hand now.**

**He made Kanda up another drink, as he handed it to him saying, "Sure that's fair, but don't you think -san sounds a bit.... You know, business man?..... Yuu-chan...."**

"**It's not freaking business man, and Yuu-chan?! Are you outta your mind?!"**

"**I think it's cute!"**

"**I do NOT!" Kanda stated, finishing his second drink and extending his glass out to get a third. "It is childish and does not fit me at all, sir."**

"**Sir?"**

"**Uh, Lavi."**

**Lavi laughed gently, handing Kanda his third drink of the night. He really was a light weight.**

**oooooooooooo**

**Two hours and almost a full litre bottle of vodka later, Kanda was off his face. Lavi was pretty drunk too, but still sober enough to remember everything Kanda was doing. He'd had more to drink, but he was less drunk. Poor Kanda.**

**Kanda leaned against Lavi, giggling. "You know I haven't had this much fun since I was 12..... You're so fun, Lavi." He declared, hugging his friend tight against his chest. Lavi breathed in his warm scent, wishing that moment could last a lifetime.**

"**Bet you're glad I didn't take the bottle back NOW, ain't ya?!" he teased from Kanda's chest, playfully tickling him so that he fell into a sitting position, laughing hysterically.**

"**Hahaha!!... Lavi... AAAH!!! STOP IT!!! Noooo, don't tickle AAHHAAHA!!!" he squealed in delight. Compared to the stony bitch Lavi had met in the corridor mere weeks ago, this Kanda was like an entirely different person. But he was still amazing, and Lavi still wanted to stay near him regardless.**

"**Oi Lavi," Kanda slurred, removing Lavi's head from his chest and looking at him, one hand still on his cheek, "Kiss me?"**

"**Ha?"**

"**Go one, I won't tell anyone....." he coaxed in Lavi's ear. **

"_**you don't have to try and persuade me, Yuu-chan. I've been using all my will power not to jump on you the last couple of weeks...."**_

**However, he knew full well that Kanda was VERY drunk and didn't want to take advantage of him.**

"**Y-You sure that's a good plan, Yuu-chan? I mean, it's not like-"**

**Kanda smashed his lips against Lavi's for a few seconds before hastily pulling away. "It seems like a good idea at the moment so kiss me back before I rape you." Kanda said, holding Lavi's collar in his fist and looking at him determinedly.**

"_**it's not rape if the other person wants it, Yuu."**_** Lavi thought to himself before Kanda closed the gap between them, putting his lips on Lavi's once again. **

**Only this time Lavi did not hold back at all. He took more control, placing his hands delicately either side of Kanda's beautiful face. He kissed back gently at first, then with more passion as he felt Kanda lean in to him. Lavi's mind wondered to everything Kanda, the way his hair shone in the light, the way he always glared at people, the way he acted so tough but was really this sweet and gentle inside..... and the way his eyes drifted closed and his mouth parted slightly when Lavi ran his tongue over Kanda's bottom lip.**

**As Lavi's tongue slipped into his love's mouth, examining the crevices of his mouth and the bumps of his teeth, his left hand moved to Kanda's hip, pulling him closer. His right hand brushed through Kanda's long hair as he slowly closed his eye. He was in loath to close it; staring at Kanda was much more enjoyable, his face looking particularly angelic as they kissed. But as he did his other senses were very much heightened. The scent of Kanda drifted into his nose and he could clearly hear the small sucking sounds that his and Kanda's mouths were making. **

**Kissing really was better with your eyes closed.**

**Kanda's hand, which had been on Lavi's chest beforehand, moved to the back of his neck as he gently pulled Lavi towards him and leaned back onto the pillows. **_**"Oh sweet Jesus I'm lying on top of Yuu-chan!!"**_** Lavi's mind screamed at him as his body moved over top of the slim, toned form that was his Yuu-chan. His mind was racing, his heart pounding as his teenage, hormone driven mind conjured up hundreds of different scenarios that might include this kind of scene again. He felt like his heart was about to give out it was beating so fast. He couldn't pretend anymore that what he felt for the man under him was purely lust, he cared so much for him and wanted to be gentle, his biggest rush being when Kanda had let out a small moan of pleasure as Lavi's lips trailed down the length of his neck. **_**He **_**had made Kanda feel like that. It was entirely **_**his**_** doing. And Kanda was happy, all he could do was hope feverishly that this kiss could last longer, because although his longing for the Japanese man was great, his want to see him smile was even greater. **

**Kanda lifted Lavi's head so that he could look into his eyes. Panting lightly and rather flushed, he whispered against Lavi's lips. "Lavi..... take me?"**

**Lavi's single working eye grew in shock. Quite eager to screw the man underneath him, Lavi noticed his eyes. They were blurred and not looking completely at him. They were also drifting shut slowly, as if Kanda were fighting sleep.**

"_**You really are drunk, Yuu...."**_

**He smiled at his love before laying a small kiss on his forehead, "Not tonight, love. But feel free to come back anytime you're sober!" he said, moving to sit up on Kanda. But Kanda was having none of it, wrapping his arms around Lavi's neck do that he was pulled into sitting too.**

"**No fair.... I said please...."**

"**You didn't actually."**

"**Well I thought it...." he muttered, moving his gaze down to Lavi's chest which in the process had become bare. "Go on, you know you want to...."**

"**But that's not the point, Yuu-chan," Lavi said with a smile, shifting Kanda so that he could move away. "Now's not a good time, love. You'll probably fall asleep before we even get to the good part...." **_**"Except when I'm with you, EVERY part's the good part...."**_

**Kanda groaned, "You're no fun, Lavi....."**

**Lavi laughed, "even so, it's time you should be sleeping..." he said, trying to move Kanda so that he was lying with his head on the pillow (as they'd been the wrong way around before) and lie down ****without**** Lavi being on top of him.**

**But as Lavi went to move to his own bed, Kanda's grip suddenly tightened, his body becoming tense. "..... Please don't leave me Lavi......." he was shaking. "Please..... I'm scared.... Please sleep here tonight, stay with me....". With the last few words he spoke, his voice started shaking, tears appearing in the eyes that were buried into Lavi's bare chest.**

**And what could Lavi say to that?! Many things, but no was not one of them.**

**With a small sigh he lay down next to Kanda who instinctively wrapped his arms tight around Lavi, lying on his side and crying softy into his shoulder. "You really are different when you're drunk, Yuu....." Lavi could feel his hangover already start to kick in, wishing he could grab that glass of water but loving the feel of Kanda's skin next to his too much to move. So he just lay where he was, eyes drifting slowly shut as he heard Kanda's breathing become more regular. He was asleep.**

**Mere moments before he himself fell asleep, Lavi lowered his head to Kanda's ear and whispered into it:**

"**I love you, Yuu-chan."**

**oooooooooooooooo**

**The next morning, Lavi awoke before Kanda did. His head was pounding and he was freezing cold, but he was lying next to a half naked Yuu-chan so neither of those things mattered.**

**Slowly, he got up. He hated having to leave the warmth of his Yuu-chan, but he really needed to pee and he wasn't entirely sure how Kanda would react if he found Lavi in his bed. **

**After peeing and drinking a lot of water, Lavi lay back on his bed, closing his eyes. His bed covers were completely undisturbed save having him lie on them now. He wanted to hold his Yuu-chan like he had last night....**

**Like a lover would.**

**Just then he heard Kanda give a groan from the bed next to him. Lavi opened his eye to see Kanda sitting up slowly, cradling his poor head. Lavi called out quietly to him "Morning love...."**

"**What did you just call me, baka usagi?!"**

"**N-nande monai, Yuu-chan...."**

"**Che. Better had of been nothing...."**

**Lavi sat up and looked at Kanda, who was rubbing his eyes and still somehow managing to look sexy while doing it. Lavi wondered if he was mad at him for what happened last night or if he was just pissed of at his headache.**

"**Say, Yuu-chan...."**

"**Look I'm letting you use my first name, at least use a honorific I agree on!"**

"**Pfft, fine, Yuu-kun....."**

"**Die in hell."**

"**That's not very nice now is it? But.... Yeah, why you in such a bad mood?"**

"**Because my head fucking hurts and yet you still insist on jabbering on at me.... Why?"**

"**So.... you're not mad about last night?"**

"**Yes I'm fucking mad at you.... Don't you EVER let me drink again!!"**

"**But what about.... the other bit...."**

"**.....Oh dear God what did you do to me?!"**

"**N-nothing!!"**

"**Then what are you referring to?"**

**He didn't remember. The one moment in his life that had meant more to Lavi then anything else, Kanda had absolutely no recollection of it.**

"**It's nothing, ahaha! Just winding you up, Yuu-chan!!"**

"**.....With this headache? My, what a cruel sense of humour you have....."**

"**Ehehe.... Sorry, Yuu-chan....."**

"**That names growing on me, you know."**

"**YAY!!"**

"**URUSAI BAKA!!"**

"**Gahh sorry...."**

"**Che, don't worry..... But yeah, can you not call me Yuu-chan in front of people? If they hear you say it then they'll say it and it'll be such an awful headache...."**

"**But it's okay for me to call you that, yeah?"**

"**Sure."**

**Lavi smiled, a true, warm, heartfelt smile. "Thank-you, Yuu-chan."**

"**Che, don't get all dreamy eyed on me, bunny boy."**

**Leaping across to his bed, Lavi hugged Kanda tight, who told him off before nursing his head. "You really don't like physical contact, huh Yuu-chan?"**

"**It's not that, I just have a splitting headache...."**

"**But even if Lenalee touches you you freak at her...."**

"**.....Well, I trust you...."**

"**Ha?"**

**Kanda blushed, looking down at his hands which were wrapped up in the blanket underneath them. "Shut up. Don't make me say it again, rabbit."**

**Lavi couldn't have felt happier if he tried.**

**Later on that day Lavi received a call from Komui. The Finders had been off slightly, the innocence being two days north of where those two were. However, head quarters had discovered this because a group of exorcists found the exact piece they were looking for while coming back from a mission. Kanda and Lavi were to return to the order.**

**Sat in the cabin of a first class train, Kanda was bitching (again) about how they had been sent out for no reason and that those 'damn finders' should be more careful before they sent them off, wasting their precious time.**

"_**It wasn't pointless to me....."**_** Lavi thought to himself, listening half-heartedly to Kanda's rants while paying much more attention to his lips. He doubted that he would ever be able to tell Kanda how he felt again. Perhaps.**

**Ooooooooooo**

**Throughout the next few weeks Lavi got to see more of Kanda than he had before going on their first mission together, but a lot less than when they had actually been together. The balance found in the middle was enough to make Lavi feel ecstatic none the less-- he could see his beloved each day, but not all the time. Mind you, even only glancing upon him briefly as he strode down the hallway was enough for Lavi.**

**In the sense that he was able to smile.**

**Because no matter how much of Kanda Lavi saw, it would never be enough.**

**Lavi, Kanda, Bookman, Lenalee and most of the remaining exorcists were gathered in Komui's office to be informed about a special mission they would all be attending. Lavi wasn't listening, being far more interested in Kanda's pretty hair. He didn't care too much about listening to what Komui had to say-- Bookman would just tell him later on. Kanda was much more attention absorbing in that moment.**

**Lavi didn't notice Lenalee's eyes on him.**

**After their brief, Lavi walked back to the library (Bookman had gone ahead of him after claiming that he 'walked at the same pace as that of a retarded snail.'). Once there, he received a kick in the head from his superior.**

"**Idiot, you walk too slow."**

"**Itai..... Yeah well sorry, I don't run as fast as I can to get here coz I'm SOCIAL. You know what that means, Panda? SO-CI-AL." Lavi was smacked again. "WOULD YOU QUIT IT WITH THE BLOODY ABUSE!!"**

"**Just as soon as you start acting like a Bookman!!! You are NOT here to be social, that shouldn't be one of your main priorities, baka!!"**

"**Well I might as well be nice, seeing as we're gonna be here a while!!"**

"**BUT YOU DO NOT SEEM TO CARE ABOUT YOUR DUTIES ONE LITTLE BIT!!"**

"**WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A BASTARD TO ME THEN I'D TAKE AN INTEREST IN WHAT I DO!!!!!"**

**Bookman stopped, throwing a bag at Lavi. "Fine, if it's that bad, leave. I can find a new predecessor in no time. You are highly replaceable, Lavi. Don't go kidding yourself that you are one of a kind...."**

**Lavi looked at his feet in shame. He hadn't meant to say that to Bookman; the man HAD taken him in off the streets when he was young, given him a home, a purpose. "Come on gramps...... You know I didn't mean it....." he mumbled, still looking at his feet.**

"**Sure as hell sounded like it. Pack that, we're leaving."**

"**Ha?"**

"**Were you listening to even a single WORD your supervisor just said, or were you busy playing in Lavi-land? We leave for our mission tonight, Komui wants us all downstairs now."**

**Bookman hoisted his bag, which he had somehow managed to pack whilst yelling at Lavi, up onto his shoulder, "Seriously Lavi, sometimes I wonder why I keep you here...." and with that he left.**

**Lavi leaned against the door Bookman had just exited from, thinking. **_**"This really isn't a game, Lavi. Buckle up or he's gonna kick you out for good.... No one has infinite patience you know."**_

**As he started packing his bag, Bookman's words rang out clearly in his head. **_**"you are highly replaceable...."**_

**Catching sight of himself in the bathroom mirror, Lavi's eye was drawn to his eye patch.**

_**You are highly replaceable.**_

**Walking over to the mirror, he lifted it up, examining his blindness.**

_**You are highly replaceable.**_

**Without thinking, Lavi grabbed the soap from the side of the sink, ramming it into his eye. He screamed at the pain, before throwing the bar across the room and screaming at the mirror. **_**"YOU ARE SO HIGHLY FUCKING REPLACEABLE YA LITTLE SHIT!!!!!! WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANT SOMETHING AS DEFORMED AS YOU!!!!!!!!"**_

**He slammed his hands down on the side, eye running to try and clear itself of the irritant.**

**His other eye began to run to.**

**Oooooooooooooooooooooo**

**After cleaning himself of the soap and tears, Lavi replaced the eye patch and went to wait with everyone else. He couldn't help but have to fake his smile, thinking whenever someone so much as looked at him how easily they could replace him. He hated the thought.**

**Sitting on the train next to Kanda, he was uncharacteristically quiet, looking out of the window the whole time. He couldn't even face looking at his Yuu-chan, not wanting to imagine how easily the cold man would be able to get over him. However, every now and then he would see Kanda's reflection in the window, looking at him in an almost worried way.**

**The thought of Kanda caring made Lavi feel slightly warmer. But only slightly.**

**After a few hours they arrived at a port. He was then told by Lenalee that they would be attending a pleasure cruise party, on the look out for Akuma but also to enjoy themselves.**

"**That'll be fun, won't it Lavi?"**

"**Yeah..... Great fun." he said, fake smile slapped on his face.**

"**... Lavi," Lenalee turned to him, pulling him back slightly from the crowd, "is..... Is everything alright?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**You seem kinda.... off, recently..." She admitted, hoping he wouldn't be offended by her words.**

"**Heh," Lavi smiled slightly, "It's nothing, doll. Don't you go worrying sugar, I'm fine." With that he walked off.**

**Aboard the cruise ship, Lavi had to admit, Komui had really out done himself. The décor was that of a rich kings bedroom, plush carpets and velvet wallpapers which were of the highest class without being too impersonal. There were waiters and a free bar (Lavi could pretend he was 18 for the night **(2)**), people walking around with canapés. The colour scheme was a gentle pearl, which made the onlooker feel very relaxed and somehow fit very well with the ocean view which could be seen out of the grand French windows the rooms possessed. Lavi was quite speechless.**

"**Whoa...." was all he could say as he felt the gentle brush of Kanda Yuu walk by him, turning slightly and saying, "You coming or what?" in his usual cold tone. Lavi complied; his Bookman worries could wait for now.**

**oooooooooooo**

**The night passed smoothly with no sighting of Akuma. After the first few hours, all the Exorcists began to relax and enjoy the cruise.**

**Lavi spent most of his time around Kanda, who had noticed his off behaviour and was determined to cheer him up without publicly showing that he cared. However, after several hours in the boy's company, Lavi decided that it would be fun to have Kanda chase him around the boat, running off and laughing his crazy laugh as he went completely out of Kanda's sight. **

**After getting bored of running, Lavi got himself a drink and started aimlessly wondering around the ship, looking for Kanda so as he could jump out and scare him (Kanda had gotten bored of looking for the 'damn rabbit' about 10 minutes ago.) when he walked past an open door. Hearing voices inside that he recognised to be Exorcists, he stopped to listen. He had planned to go in once he realised they weren't talking about anything private (he didn't want to pry), but after hearing his name mentioned in the passing conversation he stayed where he was.**

**One exorcist he didn't know was talking, "..... that Lavi guy, what do you think of him? I mean, he's gotta have some balls to be able to talk to Kanda Yuu!!"**

**The Exorcist that Kanda had referred to as 'baka Daisya' replied. "I know, I mean, fuck me Kanda-san's a BEAST!! Nearly bit my fucking head off the other day when I told him Tiedoll wanted to see him!!"**

"**Well that's coz you said 'Daddy Tiedoll wants to see his cutsie poopsie wittle Kanda-kun', Daisya."**

"**Oh yeah...."**

**There was laughing as Lavi smiled to himself. He could just imagine Kanda's reaction to that kind of statement.**

**Putting his drink down to the side of him, he listened more intently.**

"**But yeah, to your earlier question Cloud, I think that Lavi guys okay...."**

"**Yeah, I mean, he's an antisocial bitch but he's not a bad guy."**

"**You think? Coz I was wondering what you all thought yesterday after he left the cafeteria.... he's like, really bubbly and nice but he never talks to anyone..... D'you think he's alright?"**

"**Nah, total nut. Ya shoulda seen 'im when 'e was fightin' before. Ya wonder what goez on in tha' lil head o' his, needs ta get it checked n'matter what it's."**

"**Why, is he like a real insane fighter?"**

"**No, 'nd thas the poin'. We dont need someone like tha' workin' for us, I say."**

"**Well they're not gonna kick him out..."**

"**Maybe they'll just, I dunno, not put him with us?"**

"**Anyone of us can replace him, easy peasy pumpkin pie!!"**

**Everyone laughed at Daisya's last comment as Lavi heard glasses clinking and the conversation shift from the subject of him. He walked off, toward the bottom outside deck. His legs felt shaky and something inside him was burning, like a cadged animal who had given up struggling but was now screaming with agony. It hurt only a little to think no one liked him at the order, he could get over that easily. But that damn Daisya's last comment had been the same as that of Bookman's. **

_**You are highly replaceable.**_

**Lavi felt like crying, he was sick of being the one easy to throw away.**

**He walked over to the railings, looking don into the rushing water underneath them, chilled to a deadly degree by the night. As he looked he saw his mothers face looking back at him, look of disgust and disappointment still intact even after ten years.**

"**Who would want something as disgusting as that?!"**

_**You are highly replaceable.**_

**Lavi thought about Kanda then. Why that man crossed his mind he wasn't sure, but it angered him to such a point, the fact that he was thinking of this now made him feel small and insignificant. It was stupid to kid himself over this, no matter HOW much he felt for the cold-hearted Japanese man.**

"**You should get out of my house, I don't want to be around you you wicked, cursed piece of shit!!"**

_**You are highly replaceable.**_

"_**Fuck it." **_**Lavi thought to himself, climbing up over the railings to stand on the small ledge the other side, tears clearly marking his face as his sobs clearly marked the quiet night air. **_**"Let them replace me..."**_

**He held onto the railing with shaking hands as he leaned over, watching the waves rapidly fall beneath the boat. **_**"Nothing stopping you now, all you have to do is let go...."**_

**His hoarse throat let out a choked sob as he watched his tears fall to the water below.**

_**You are completely isolated, so let go.**_

"_**I want to see him....."**_

_**Why bother? What good will it do you? This is too much, so stop it now. He'll only make you change your mind.**_

"_**.....But I want to see him...."**_

_**You can never just do, can you? Why d'you think they didn't want you?! You are worthless, if all you can do is back out then live your life that way. You are nothing to anyone.**_

"**Yuu....." He whispered, sobs still escaping his hurt throat. He let go with one hand. "Gomen.... Yuu..."**

"**You don't have to be sorry."**

**The shock of hearing the quiet voice behind him was almost enough to make him let go entirely, but he managed to hold on and look at the man behind him, leaning back against the railings. He replaced his hand.**

**Looking full on at Kanda, face tear stained yet determined, he asked as loud as he could with his sore throat, "Why are you here....?". His voice was still wavering.**

**Kanda just stood and looked at him. Lavi didn't want to be stopped, he just wished that he could tell Kanda how important he was to him. He wanted to apologise, but by no means return.**

**Kanda spoke softly to him, ".... I won't stop you, Lavi..... but if you decide that **_**living**_** might be a good plan, I will put every ounce of my heart and soul into saving you."**

**Lavi couldn't suppress his tears. "That's real sweet, Yuu-chan, but I just.... I can't. I'm obviously alone, so just let me do this alone....." he turned his eyes away from Kanda's " If I see that look in your eyes again I'll start doubting whether this is a good idea or not...."**

"**It's not a good idea."**

"**Says you...."  
**

"**And Bookman. He's going spare looking for you, something about making up for 'the bad that he did'? I don't know, but he's real worried."**

**Lavi turned back to the rushing water, leaning over it. "I am nothing to anyone. I got over it, you should too."**

"**You're something to me..."**

**Lavi looked around at him, barely able to see him through his yet to fall tears. "What....?"**

"**You're probably the best friend I could ever have. If you died I'd be devastated.... Mortified, even...." Kanda was looking at his feet, kicking the ground lightly with one of them. He looked very young like that.**

**Lavi leaned back against the rails once more, looking out into the ocean. Kanda wanted him alive. How could he **_**possibly **_**do something Kanda didn't want him to? He needed to live, if this weight on his heart would just loosen.....**

"**Kanda...." he whispered, turning to face his love interest. "Please.....Save me?"**

**As soon as Lavi had said the words Kanda rushed to his side, holding him close over the railings, arms wrapped tight so as not to lose his precious friend. Lavi let go of the railings, wrapping his arms around Kanda's.**

**Kanda moved his head slightly so as he could whisper in Lavi's ear, "and I think I prefer Yuu-chan."**

**All Lavi could do was cry.**

**Oooooooooo**

**Ima split the memories into two chapters coz its taking forever and I WANNA UPLOAD!!! Dx but yeah still more to come so REVIEW with any questions or ideas :3 tah much!!**

**Yeah I planned to make it a bottle of coke, but then I remembered that they didn't have coke in the 1800's.... not like much of this sticks to those rules any way, ahaha....**

**I'm English and in England you can drink when you're 18 8D (hence why Lavi and Debitto got wasted earlier arharhar.)**

**It seems that my characters like getting drunk in this O.o ah well xD**

**Owari.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm back!! Haha I didn't die, honest!! Just..... Very lazy is all o.o haha and what with christmas just round the corner.... Well, heres your present!!**

**Disclaimer: Not my people.**

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

**Lavi sniffed, wiping his eyes as he rested his head against Kanda's strong chest. After convincing Lavi not to kill himself, Kanda had brought him back to his room for the night 'to talk'. Once there, he had sat down with Lavi on his bed and done something he had never done before.**

**He held Lavi.**

**Cuddling him until the tears had come close to subsiding, Kanda still held on to his very precious friend as if if he let go Lavi might slip away from him, going straight over that ledge again. That was the LAST thing Kanda wanted.**

**He looked down at Lavi; Kanda probed gently, "So..... you wanna tell me why you wanted to throw yourself off the boat there?"**

**Lavi sniffed again, shifting slightly so that he could look into the eyes of his saviour, ".... Where d'you want me to start?"**

"**How about the 'why' bit."**

"**I was sad."**

**Kanda put his free hand over his eyes. Lavi really was difficult sometimes.**

**Removing his eye shielding hand, Kanda placed it roughly on top of Lavi's head, earning a small 'oof' from the boy. Kanda ruffled his hair lightly, looking at him as if he were a distraught child. "So why were you sad?"**

**Lavi looked down at his lap, enjoying the feel of his love's hand in his hair but not being quite able to look at him while he confessed what he considered to be a huge embarrassment. ".... It's not important, Yuu-chan...."**

"**Well it's important enough for you to want to throw yourself off a boat, so it's important enough to tell me. Now spill."**

**Lavi sat up, away from Kanda (whose hand was still on his shoulder, having had the rest of his arm slip off it). Lavi turned to Kanda, the action knocking the samurai's hand off the apprentice Bookman's shoulder, and looked him in the eye. "Yuu-chan, I am completely and utterly unwanted. I have no reason to stay here, and I'm tired of being replaced," his voice was growing in volume as he reached the climax of his argument. Tears re-appeared in the corners of his eye, "nobody gives two fucks whether I'm here or not!! I don't wanna spend my life either watching people throw their lives away on pointless wars or live happy, content lives that have everything I ever wanted, throwing me aside when my time comes to move on and record more history. You know what? Fuck history, let people forget it, no one gives a fuck anyway..." at that point, he broke down in tears. Of course he wanted to stay being a bookman, he had known what it included when he was picked up by Bookman. If he hadn't wanted to be one then he could easily have just been Bookman's coffee boy or something. It just hurt sometimes is all.**

**Kanda was about to lean over and comfort his friend when the first thing he said sunk in properly. *"You know you're an idiot, right?"**

"**Well thanks for helping me out. Really appreciate it." he sniffed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.**

**Kanda sighed. "I just meant that you always assume you're alone. I do exist you know....."**

"**I never denied that you do."**

"**Che. Never mind then."**

"**Alright, sorry. I'm listening now."**

**Kanda looked at him in an almost sad way, whispering something in Japanese Lavi didn't understand. "Kimi wa hitori ja nai..... hontou ni."**

"**Huh?"**

"**Che, like I said, you're an idiot."* **(1) **Kanda looked down at his nails as though they were the most interesting thing in the world. "Thought you spoke Japanese anyway?"**

"**Only a little.... It was just too fun to pretend I knew it all.... really freaked you out ya know...."**

**Kanda blushed slightly, embarrassed at the thought that something as simple as that had 'freaked him out'. He coughed lightly, "So..... gonna explain a bit better or not?"**

"**You know you don't make it very easy for people to open up, don't you?" **

**Kanda looked sideways at Lavi, wondering what he meant. "What do you mean?" See?**

"**You're just, too cold for people to open up to easily.... Maybe if you smiled a bit more..."**

"**Go to hell, bunny."**

**Lavi laughed quietly, "See? Who's gonna confess to that...."**

**Kanda looked down at his hands again. He was really worried about Lavi and he wanted to help more then anything else. It was unnerving to see his usually hyper friend slumped up against the head board like that. He looked at Lavi properly, saying in his calmest yet most serious voice, "Lavi, I trust you a hell of a lot and I'd be just a tad over grateful if you could possibly trust me back."**

**Looking up at Kanda, Lavi had to admit that he wouldn't be able to stay quiet for much longer. Kanda trusted him, and that on it's own made him want to throw himself against the man, sobbing and recalling his rather pathetic life story. But he was scared. What if Kanda hated him as well? Well, if he did then Lavi would just have to deal. Kanda deserved to know his reasoning, even if no one else did.**

**Lavi sighed. He looked down at his hands and muttered in a voice no more then a whisper, "Y-Yuu-chan... When I was born there was something wrong with my eye...." he indicated to his eye patch. "My mother told me I was cursed, that I was no good for the world. She'd hit me, screaming at me to get out of her house. I was no older then four years old when it got really bad....." Lavi had to pause momentarily to wipe a tear from his eye. Kanda shuffled closer to him, wrapping his arm around his friends neck as he continued his story. "My father hated me, told me I was a complete waste of space and that they should have taken a different baby home from the hospital. He was a complete drunk... but he died in a carriage accident when I was only one...."**

"**Wait, if you were only one, how do you remember all that about him? You couldn't even talk...."**

"**I have impeccable memory. I remembered the exact sounds of everything he said, and once I learnt language myself I deciphered the meanings of the words he had screamed at me from the time I was born to the time he died...."**

"**I see.... Sorry, carry on."**

"**Well, my mother blamed the accident on me, claiming my curse had effected him. She started to act strange after that, I think she might have been turned into an Akuma, but then again Bookman didn't say anything about it when he found me. And Bookman's really not the kind to try and protect you just because you're a child. Maybe from physical danger, but he says that we should all get over things that are fact, not take them personally...."**

"**My what a bundle of laughs he is."**

**Lavi laughed at that, sliding down Kanda so that he could snuggle up against his love's chest.**

"**Nah, Bookman's a good man. He knows that it's a touchy subject with me, and he's very careful around me. He does treat me good, despite what you guys may see of us....." Lavi smiled. Kanda could feel the boy's affection for the man who had brought him up even if said boy would never admit it. Kanda smiled down at him.**

"**My mother threw me out of the house when I was four. I think she went crazy to be fair, not that she ever liked me anyway....."**

"**Where did you go?"**

"**Streets."**

"**Aah yeah, I remember you telling me when we first-- holy fuck REALLY?!?! You were FOUR?!?"**

"**Well, yeah...."**

"**Dude, that's too young."**

"**Heh, I know!! But what could I do? I had no where else to go.... until Bookman found me when I was six.... I tried to steal a loaf of bread offa him and he kicked me (hence why he always kicks me in the head nowadays, ahaha.....). He didn't give me up to the police though, he sat me down at his table in a restaurant and talked to me. I didn't want to talk, so he would say something, I'd stay quiet, he'd say something different and I'd repeat the first thing he'd said. It carried on like that for ages before I actually spoke to him..... seriously, I really pissed the poor man off. I just wanted my bread, not to talk to some wrinkly Chinese dude..... Anyway, that's not the point!! He gave me some food so I spoke to him. After he realised about my memory he offered to take me on. My apprenticeship started there." Lavi finished with a smile, past tears forgotten. Kanda smiled lightly at him.**

"**I was 10 before I realised that it wasn't a curse on my eye...... You know, not even Bookman's seen my eye...... And, I DO trust you so..... Sorry if it makes you feel sick...." Lavi moved slightly so Kanda could easily see his face. Lavi lifted up his eye patch and would have closed his eye if he could. Kanda took in what he saw, awestruck.**

**Lavi's right eye had no eye lid. It was glassy and fake looking, a light purple colour made even lighter by the white blind-haze covering it. Along the purple of his iris there were little black markings, faded dark grey by the white, that resembled tiny tear drops, the points facing his useless pupil. It looked a little too small for its socket and when Lavi turned his left eye away in shame, glowing pink at the cheeks, his right eye stayed staring at Kanda. It was really quite disturbing to see.**

**However, seeing the painful look in Lavi's good eye at knowing someone was seeing his deformity, Kanda merely hooked his arms behind Lavi's head, pulling his head - 'cursed' eye and all - onto his chest. He planted a small kiss on Lavi's head, whispering, "I think you're really strong to be able to show me that, Lavi. Nothing about you is disgusting, no matter what people say. I'll always be here, promise." he gave Lavi and extra tight squeeze as new tears formed in the apprentice Bookman's good eye. Kanda was his everything, his hope and his light. He would have given his left foot to stay with the samurai forever.**

**Ooooooooooooooooo**

**After the night on the boat, Lavi had difficulty keeping quiet about his feelings toward his samurai friend. Whenever the man was near, Lavi had to use all his will power not to kiss him, hold him, even things as simple as touching his hair. Kanda hated having people touch his hair. But a few weeks had gone by with Lavi struggling with his overwhelming emotions when Kanda let his friend plat his hair. But only that once. After all, it shut the damn bunny up.**

**On the night of Kanda's 16****th**** birthday he was convinced into letting Lavi share his bed with him, waking up in the middle of the night and kicking him, "Shift it, lumpy...."**

"**Sleep....."**

"**It's too hot in here, go sleep in your room....."**

"**Yuu, don't make me move...." Lavi mumbled into his shared pillow, chewing it slightly.**

"**Che, don't eat that, I sleep on that..." Kanda said, whisking it from under Lavi's head (which bounced ungracefully on the mattress). Lavi groaned in indignation. **

"**Baka Yuu-chan..... give it baaaack......" he whined, flailing his hand around without lifting his head or even opening his eye to look at where his hands were going. After 10 seconds of pathetic attempting, Lavi's arm flopped down. He had fallen asleep.**

**Kanda smiled to himself, placing the pillow on top of Lavi's head before leaning on it himself (receiving another sleepy protest from Lavi). Even though Lavi was an annoying bunny, Kanda wouldn't have wanted to share his birthday with anyone but him.**

**When Lavi's birthday came around that August, he insisted on having a big party that Kanda had to organise. "Why the hell's it MY job?!" he moaned to Bookman while writing a list of who to invite, "he's YOUR damn apprentice, you bloody sort it....."**

**Bookman hit Kanda, "You sort it because he likes you best. If I do it then I'll do something wrong, he'll complain and then spend his entire birthday being kicked in the face."**

"**Ouch..."**

"**Precisely."**

**Kanda rested his head on his fist, "Che, Yeah but, I suck at this stuff..... Knowing me I'll have to threaten people to come...."**

"**Don't worry, people may hate you but they love Lavi."**

"**What you say bitch?!"**

"**Nothing, nothing at all, Kanda-san...."**

"**...Che."**

**Kanda turned his attention back to the list he was writing. So far he had: Lenalee, Komui, himself and Bookman. He was going to have to put a tad bit more effort in if anything was going to happen at all.**

**Somehow, with the help of Lenalee, Kanda managed to organise a do for Lavi's 16****th****. It wasn't as big as Lavi had specified, but in all honesty the guest of honour didn't really care. Kanda was there, and that was all that mattered. That and he didn't have to do work.**

**Lavi made a point to talk to everyone who attended his party, and once he had he got to spend the rest of the night with his Yuu-chan. That was his main motivation.**

**Kanda was, as per usual, in a sour mood. One which actually lessened when the hyperactive red head graced him with his company. "YUUUUUUUUUUUU-CHAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed, running at Kanda with his arms wide open. Kanda didn't have much time to react before he was tackled to the floor by the bunny.**

"**Che- GET OFF ME YA GREAT LUMP!!! What am I, a mattress?!"**

"**Ehehe.... no, Yuu-chan..... I'm just happy to see you!! And it's my birthday!!! Ahaha!!"**

**Kanda managed to push Lavi off him enough to sit up, "Che, well, glad you're having fun."**

"**I am!!! This is the best Yuu, thanks!!" Lavi then made the first mistake that would lead to the breaking of his heart. He kissed Kanda on the cheek. In public.**

**Kanda turned bright red, standing up rather too quickly and ignoring Lavi's queries. "Yuu-chan? What's wrong? Hey, where you goin'? Yuu? YUU!!" he got up, chasing after his samurai friend out of the big hall and up the narrow staircase of the order that led to the upstairs corridors. Lavi ran to catch up, only reaching the fast-paced Kanda when he was right outside Lavi's room, ready to keep on walking to his own. Lavi caught his arm, "Yuu.... chouto..... YUU WAIT!!" Kanda turned finally, looking his friend in the eye. **

"**Oh sorry, didn't see you there...."**

"**Bullshit, you knew full well I was behind you!!"**

"**Well.... Funny how life turns out, huh?" Kanda turned to carry on walking.**

**Lavi swung Kanda into his room (who's door he had just opened with the hand not occupied by Kanda's arm) and stood in front of the door so he couldn't get out. "Yuu-chan.... if I freaked you out, please tell me and I will apologise in due course, we can be friends again and then go back down to the party and have a laugh.... Sound like a plan?"**

"**Che....." Kanda folded his arms and turned slowly to face the wall before turning back to look at Lavi. ".... Why the fuck did you kiss me?"**

"**Gratitude, I guess."**

"**You guess?"**

"**Eer, yeah.... I mean, spur of the moment thing, you know, ahaha....." Lavi felt cold. His stomach was jumping all over the place and he felt physically sick. He didn't regret it, he could still smell Kanda lingering around him, but he severely wished that Kanda would just get over it and except that 'that's what Lavi does with his friends.'**

**Because if Kanda found out, Lavi didn't know what he would do.**

**Kanda gave him a disbelieving look, "Right, so that's why you look like you're lying, am I right? I can read you like a book Lavi, even if no one else can."**

"_**Well of **_**course**_** you can Yuu!! You've always been able to do that....**_** That's kinda the reason you scare me....."**

"**I scare you?"**

"**Uwha?"**

"**You just said I scare you...."**

"**No!! That's not what I mean!! It's just.... You know me so well Yuu-chan, why d'you think I trust you so much.... You always know exactly how to make me better.... Always....." Lavi was looking down at his feet, which had suddenly become very interesting.**

**Kanda che'd. "Jeez, don't get all doe eyed on me..... It's not that amazing, chill..."**

"**It is."**

"**Huh?"**

**Lavi was staring straight at Kanda, glare intact. It was pretty unnerving for Kanda to see his best friend act like that towards him. He had never see Lavi angry before. Never once.**

"**It is damn important, Kanda. Everything you do is important to me, so don't throw it off so easily...." His gaze returned to his feet once his lecture was finished. All Kanda could do was stare.**

"**Wh-what happened to 'Yuu-chan'....." he mumbled under his breath before Lavi's full statement sunk in. "And why the **_**hell**_** does it bother you what I do?! Why on **_**earth**_** would you be effected in the slightest what I do?!'**

"**....You wouldn't understand.."**

"**Try me."**

"**No. You would think lowly of me..."**

**Kanda looked at his friend, trying feverishly to think of all the possible reasons he could hate Lavi for taking an interest in him. However, his attempt was fruitless. "I wouldn't hate you, Lavi..." He muttered, moving a little closer to his friend and placing a hand fleetingly on his shoulder, as if to prove he was serious. "I could never hate you...."**

"**You could..." Lavi's voice was thick. He wanted nothing more then to fall on his Yuu-chan there and then, hold him, spill everything out but he couldn't. Anyone else would have been fine....**

**But his fear of being rejected by the one man he truly and utterly loved was too much to cope with.**

"**Alright, maybe I could... but that's not to say I **_**will**_**....." Kanda moved to put one arm around Lavi's shoulders, only to have Lavi wrap his arms around his waist and bury his face, now strung with tears, into Kanda's strong chest. He wanted nothing but Kanda. Even being this close to him was almost too much.**

**That was the last time Lavi's inner boundary broke in front of the samurai.**

"**Yuu...." Lavi rubbed his face against Kanda's collar bone. He was already taller then his friend, but he still preferred to lean against him like this. ".....Yuu....." his voice was now barely over a whisper.**

"**.....Uh, yes?"**

**Lavi sniffed again, "Yuu, I can't do this...."**

"**Wh- Lavi don't you dare do anything stupid again...."**

**Lavi made a sound similar to a 'che'. "Don't worry, I couldn't do that to you...."**

**Kanda started, blushing, "t-to me? Well... uh, what's so special about me?"**

"**Everything."**

"**Do elaborate."**

**Lavi looked up into Kanda's eyes. Smiling a tear filled smile, Lavi gently put his hand on the side of Kanda's face. "Because it's Yuu....." he leaned forward so that their noses were touching, mouths mere centimetres from each other, "and.... I love Yuu....."**

**Lavi then placed his lips delicately on Kanda's, eye closed.**

**Before being rudely pushed away.**

**Kanda moved as far back from Lavi as he could, before he hit the bed and sat on it with the impact. "Wh-what the hell d'you think you're DOING!?!?!"**

"**I-I..."**

"**What the FUCK possessed you to do that?!?!"**

**Lavi looked down at his feet, glowing red, "Y-you said you wouldn't hate me....."**

"**I said I **_**might **_**not hate you, retard!!"**

"**D'you get why I didn't want to tell you now??"**

"**What, that you're a fucking **_**gay**_**?!?!"**

"**Shut up, I am not..... It's.... it's only you....."**

"**Well, gee thanks I feel so fucking PRIVALIDGED!!!"Kanda stood up, moving for the door which was situated behind Lavi.**

"**Yuu..."**

"**Don't fucking say my name in that pathetic tone." Kanda spat, walking past him, within arms reach of the door**_**.**_

**Lavi panicked.**

**Grabbing Kanda around the middle, Lavi went to pull him in front of him. But Kanda had other ideas.**

**Disgusted at having been pulled away from his destination by Lavi, Kanda swung around and smacked him full in the face. Lavi's grip diminished as his hands flew to his face, cradling his most likely broken nose.**

**But Kanda didn't stop there.**

**As his captor released him, Kanda aimed a kick clean in Lavi's left shin, forcing him down to the ground in agony. Kanda then kneed him in the face again before landing a punch on Lavi's temple. Lavi had basically no time to react between the attacks being put onto him, especially now in his dazed state. All he could think the entire time Kanda was attacking him was how beautiful he looked doing so, how strong he was and why he was acting like this. He knew he should hate Kanda for suddenly turning on him like this, but he didn't. Nothing that he felt for the long haired samurai was different to what it had been five minutes ago.**

**But he sure hated himself a good deal more.**

**Kanda's attacks kept coming, a punch in the stomach, a knee in the shoulder; even at one point a kick in the face. Kanda sat down over Lavi, aiming deadly blows repeatedly to the poor boy's face, head, anywhere Kanda could reach. Once Kanda's fists were bleeding and he was too exhausted to hurt his old best friend anymore, Kanda stood up, spitting on Lavi.**

**He screamed at the broken body on the floor, "Ya wanna fucking stop me NOW?! Huh, gay boy?! You still think ya 'love' me after that?!?! Ever wonder why I'm the only one around here that really talks to you? Hmm? Well, everyone else can see what a complete failure you are. Me, I just didn't look.... **_**I **_**don't care." Kanda threw another kick clean into Lavi's side. Lavi didn't react to any of what Kanda was saying. He just wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere and die.**

"**And you know what else? I'm not surprised your mother threw you out. That thing under there is enough to make even a parent leave you, doesn't that show you a thing or two?!" Lavi's good eye grew in shock. He knew Kanda was mad, but right then it seemed like the man actually hated him.**

**Kanda bent down to rip the eye patch off Lavi. Lavi's body was too beaten for him to move fast enough to stop him and his mind too hurt to care. Kanda threw the patch across the room, "There, dog, fetch."**

"**Y-Yuu...."**

**Kanda kicked yet again. "DON'T FUCKING SAY MAY NAME!!! I HATE it!!!! baka, don't you **_**EVER**_** listen?! Che, guess not...." **

"**I.... Don't.... hate you..... Y- K-Kanda... N-not...... at all...."**

**Kanda was at the door, but turned to give Lavi a look of pure hate when he said that. "Well, you should. You," Kanda pointed his finger at Lavi for added effect, "are EVERYTHING that is wrong with man kind." And with that Kanda stormed out of Lavi's room.**

**All Lavi could do was cry.**

**Oooooooooo**

Debitto sat looking at Lavi, legs crossed and hugging a pillow, listening intently to the story Lavi was telling. "Wh-what happened then?"

"After that he just.... left. Lenalee found me after about two hours and six minutes, I think she thought I was dead...."

"Di-did she see your eye?"

"Hm? No, I'd covered it with my head band coz I could feel the air on it. It grossed me out so, you know, covered it."

Debitto continued looking at Lavi. He really felt for him, despite the fact they had only met the night before. Lavi had been through so much, too much, and Debitto had no idea how to help. In comparison, his problems seemed a lot more trivial....

Lavi didn't know what was wrong with him. He had only met this boy, this Noah, last night yet he had already told him more about himself then most of his friends knew. But the words kept falling out of his mouth, making himself more and more exposed to this stranger. He was sure that as soon as he'd started talking Debitto would turn around and call him a gay freak, just as Kanda had done. In a way it was easier to talk to someone he didn't know very well, because despite the fact that he liked Debitto and didn't particularly want to lose him as a friend, they didn't know each other that well so if he decided to leave it wouldn't hurt as bad.

If he replaced Lavi now then at least it wouldn't kill him.

Debitto looked at Lavi again, trying to take in all that he'd said. From what he'd heard that Kanda guy was a decent person, so then why did he react like that to his friend? It wasn't fair. It made Debitto feel angry to know that someone could be that shallow.

In the heat of the moment, Debitto leaned forward and hugged Lavi.

Lavi started slightly, looking at the top of Debitto's head. "Um..... Debi-chan?"

"What..... What did you do after she found you?" Debitto murmured from his spot on Lavi's chest.

Lavi tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, recalling exactly how it had gone. The screams from his friend as she_**kneeling down, shaking me. "Lavi?! Lavi answer me, what happened?" I couldn't look at her she knew she'd known for ages she even asked me if it was true what could I tell her I can't lie to Lenalee. Her hands her poor small hands trying to lift me that won't work I don't want to move I want to lie here I never want to get up again just leave leave now don't look at me like that you'll make me feel again I don't want to feel I want it all to end please Lenalee if you care at all please please just leave me here to die let it be quiet I can't cope with all the noise**_**.**

Debitto leaned up and wiped away the tear that had fallen from Lavi's good eye. By the look on his face he probably wasn't aware that he was even crying, yet when he felt the delicate contact of Debitto's right index finger he jumped, looking at the boy in shock before he realised what he was doing. Once he noticed that he had been crying he turned away, blushing. That was way too personal for someone he'd only just met to see.

And that was the first time he'd cried since that day.

Debitto moved so that he was squashed up next to Lavi, both sitting at the head of the bed with their feet pointing towards the end of it. He grabbed some paper and a pen and started doing random doodles. It was what he did when his mind was troubled. He leaned against Lavi as if for some kind of comfort, "So, how can I help?"

"Probably can't."

"I see.... pity...."

"You're rather preoccupied right now, aren't you?"

"About quarter to 10."

"There you go then."

Debitto sent his attention back to Lavi when he noticed his friend looking at his sheet of paper, "You can't look at this."

"Why?"

"Coz I'm not even sure what I wrote yet!!"

Lavi ignored him, looking down still before pointing to a particular part of it. "Where are these words from?"

"I dunno," Debitto said, looking down at what he had written, "my head? I do that sometimes...."

"You were barely writing two minutes, you couldn't have made _all_ that up in that short a time!"

"Well, evidently, I did. So mneh."

Lavi looked down at the words. They fit the conversation so well he was scared that his emotional boundary would break again. They rhymed like poetry or song lyrics:

_I hear the ticking of the clock, I'm lying here the room's pitch dark._

_I wonder where you are tonight, no answer on the telephone._

_And the night moves by so very slow._

_Oh I hope that it won't end though._

_Alone._

_Till now,_

_I've always got by on my own._

_I never really cared until I met you._

_And now it chills me to the bone,_

_How do I get you alone?_

_How do I get you alone?_

It was almost as if Debitto had reached into his heart and written exactly what he wanted to say. He looked up at his friend, "..... Finish it."

"Ha?"

"I wanna know how it ends..... It's beautiful...."

"Aaah gee, thanks Lavi. It's really nothing special though...."

"I like it."

Debitto made a small noise in the back of his throat, avoiding Lavi's eye. He took the pen in his hand again and looked down at the paper. Lavi could see the cloud come over his eyes. If Lavi spoke now he doubted Debitto would hear him. Debitto's hand moved down and rapidly over the paper, and as he wrote Lavi read the new words:

_You don't know how long I have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight...._

_You don't know how long I have waited, and I was gonna tell you tonight....._

_But the secret is still my own._

_And my love for you is still unknown._

_Alone._

The life came back to Debitto's eyes as he read what he had just written, pulling a face. "Gee, you don't have very good taste do you? Honestly, this sucks."

Lavi clonked Debitto around the head, calling him a baka. "But you've done it, shit brick. You've gone and written out exactly what I thought that day...... Don't wanna sound gay, but I kinda still do, ahaha...."

"Never fear Lavi, I will always out gay you."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing...."

Lavi che'd at his friend and was about to insult him or make him prove it when the door was thrown open by a Portuguese man Lavi was sure he recognised from somewhere. Debitto jumped a mile when he saw him.

Tyki quickly came into the room, shutting the door behind him and half whispering, "What the hell are you still doing here?! If the Earl sees you chances are he'll just disembowel you on the spot!"

"Fuck, is he up?"

"Well duh."

"Okay, thanks Tyki..."

Lavi's eye grew in realisation, "Oh I remember now!! We met last night didn't we?"

"We gotta go Lavi, you guys can speak later...." Debitto was on his feet, trying to get Lavi up and usher him out the door. "We'll go around the back- the Earl never goes around there so he shouldn't see you..."

"Well what's the problem if he_ does _see me?"

"The Earl doesn't like guests staying over..... thinks they'll give away where we are or something...."

Tyki pushed them gently so they were completely out of the door, "But, you see, young Bi here has given it away anyway. Not that it matters, you're no harm at all."

Lavi seethed quietly. He was a hell of a lot of harm to this family, and although he seemed like a thoroughly nice guy, Lavi didn't like Tyki speaking to him like that when he knew full well just how dangerous he was.

But he let it slide.

When Lavi and Debitto were at the back entrance (Tyki had left them once he was sure the Earl wouldn't find out), Lavi turned back to his friend. "So yeah.... Thanks for having me over, ehe..." He said, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Woulda been on the streets if you hadn't so yeah.... You're okay, kid." Lavi patted Debitto on the arm, laughing nervously again. For some reason he couldn't describe he felt pretty awkward around Debitto. He knew almost more than anybody else in the world, saving Kanda of course, and although he knew he shouldn't care he was sure Debitto would judge him now. But so long as he stayed his friend that didn't matter.

"Che, don't call me kid!"

"You che'd again!"

"Yeah, what of it?" he replied as they both laughed. The awkwardness was gone in a flash, Debitto just didn't seem like the kind of person to judge so fast.

Even if technically it wasn't fast.

Debitto still felt terrible knowing all the horrible things Lavi had been through, and he knew that he wanted to help him in any way possible. But stood here laughing like they were, completely at ease, he was more glad that he'd met Lavi then he had been about anyone else before in his life before.

"So, I'll see you around yeah?"

"Ya sure will!! Oh and you better be there on Friday!!"

"Friday?"

"My big party watsit? 'Member?"

"Oh shit yeah! Dude, how'd I forget _that_...."

"I don't care but you better fuckin' show up!!" Debitto warned, putting his finger right up to Lavi's good eye to make sure he got the point.

Lavi laughed, "Okay okay!! I'll be there Debi-chan, don't worry."

"Not my name, Lavi."

"Heh, it'll grow on you." He turned around, waving, "Till Friday!!"

As Debitto watched his friend walk away from him, he felt his heart grow heavy. He didn't want to see him leave, because in the few hours he had spent with Lavi, Debitto had felt happier then he had in 8 years.....

"Yeah.... Friday..."

oooooooooooooooo

Allen paced the room. He couldn't keep still, the worry that had been installed in him after the threat that Lavi might not return to them was so great he felt sick. Lavi meant the world to him, and if he had known at the time about Lavi's feelings toward Kanda then he wouldn't have pursued him.

Well, not for a little while at least.

When he had discovered Kanda's feelings towards him he had been ecstatic. An over excited Krory had run up to him, telling him that "the soba man" had big news for Allen and he had to go see him now. Kanda had had no intention of telling Allen anytime soon, and didn't when probed, so Krory ended up telling Allen all that he had over heard between Kanda and Lenalee. Allen probably couldn't have been happier.

Probably.

It had let him concentrate his emotions on someone else for a change. Once he started to see Kanda like that it didn't take long for real feelings to emerge. And it was a nice change of pace to always looking at Lavi.

Allen loved Lavi. Full blown, would-happily-die-for-you-if-it-meant-I-could-see-you-smile-just-for-me love. Ever since he'd met the bubbly red-head he had had to try hard not to run at him with arms wide open, confessing like an actor in a Shakespeare play.

That would be quiet funny to see.

However, Lavi thought of him as 'that new kid'. He'd never mean anything to him and he knew it. So no matter how much he wanted it or how much it hurt him, he would have to let go.

And trying to get over Lavi had to be the hardest thing Allen had ever done.

Kanda opened the door, walking in on Allen's thinking spree. He looked hilarious, having been over come with his own thoughts and memories, Allen had stopped in the middle of the room. His hands were hanging loosely at his sides, his mouth slightly open and looking at the ridge between the wall and the ceiling. It took a lot of effort for Kanda not to throw something at him.

The opening of the door was just loud enough, making Allen (eventually) jump and turn to look at his new companion. From the look he was getting, he presumed he had been doing something weird when Kanda opened the door.

"Oh, sorry sweet, was I gorming out again?"

"S-sweet?"

"Uh er no I mean um big burly macho man....." Allen positioned his arms under him in a wrestlers way, "GRRRR!!!!!!!!"

Kanda blinked.

Allen, still standing like a 'big burly macho man' wrestler, blinked back.

Kanda started to laugh very quietly under his breath.

Allen blushed, realising what a complete and utter fool he had made of himself by trying to convince Kanda that he thought he was manly.

Kanda, for the first time in front of Allen, burst out laughing.

Allen stared.

It wasn't a pathetic little titter of a laugh either, or a evil cackle as most people at the order believed Kanda would produce. Allen stared openly as his lover laughed heartily at his idiocy. No longer embarrassed, Allen realised while watching this man exactly why he loved him.

And exactly how this man had helped him get over his first love.

As the humour of Allen's blatant stupidity wore off slightly, Kanda noticed Allen staring at him. He composed himself quickly, usual glare coming back to his face. "What you staring at, Moyashi-chan?"

"Chan?"

"I mean baka. Always baka."

"Naaw Kanda honey, anyone would think you were going soft on me!"

"Well I'm not. And you're the one calling me 'honey' and 'sweet' for Pete's sake!"

"Yeah, well I am soft. Got a problem with it?"

"Will it stop me from being with you?"

"Well, no."

"Then there's no problem."

Allen blushed lightly and smiled gently at Kanda, "Am I that important to you, dear?"

Kanda blushed fiercely, turning away from Allen slightly, "W-well, you're the one with all the little nick-names and what not!!"

"Am I that important to you?"

Silence from Kanda, then "....Yes."

Allen giggled before throwing his arms around Kanda's neck, burying his face into Kanda's soft tresses, "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes, Moyashi-baka, my memory is not as bad as yours."

"That's not very nice, love."

"Am I a nice person?"

"YES!!!!" Allen then proceeded with cuddling and nuzzling Kanda until he could barely breath. He had fallen over with the impact of Allen being thrust onto him.

"Che- CALM DOWN Moyashi-baka!! Jesus, way to go overboard...."

"I.... I'm sorry...." Allen's mood had completely changed. Compared to his bubbly huggy nuzzly mood of only a few seconds ago, Allen's sad and on-the-verge-of-tears-pout was both adorable and one that filled Kanda with guilt.

"Che, don't cry..."

Allen sniffed, "Will... Will you hug me?"

"Eh?"

"Big hugs make it alllll better!"

"Uh, okay then...." Cautiously, Kanda wound his arms around Allen's shoulders, pulling him into a light embrace.

Allen laid his head on Kanda's shoulder and smiled to himself. Who needed Lavi when you had someone as great as Kanda?

ooooooooooo

**Done!! xD Please R&R :)**

**(Btw, things in bold are memories :) cept Authors Notes, obviously :))**

**1) Between the two asterix's is the bit of conversation Lavi remembers in chapter one :D yay!!**

**Owari.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Finding You - 06**

**_Hello everyone :D this is Hikari-tan, .Lavi's rl sister and beta. I'm uploading chapter 06 of Finding You because my sister is at school at the moment and left herself logged in here xD to be honest, this chapter was finished ages ago (in fact chapter 07 is almost done too!) but .Lavi is just too lazy to upload -__-; but anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Sorry for the wait guys Dx_**

**-----------**

Lavi scratched his head again, leaning in to look closer at the board. It was the seventh time that day he had gotten lost. After leaving the Noah house he had realised he had no idea where the hell he was going, having no recollection whatsoever of how he had made his way there last night. Somehow he'd managed to find his way back to the town, but even then he'd had to ask for directions from some old ladies and buy a map off a big scary man with a lip ring, which he had then lost only moments later. He had managed to get to the information board near the centre of town, but so far it made absolutely no sense. Lavi didn't like this- he was usually great with maps. Getting lost this frequently, he felt a good deal like Allen.

Leaning back from the board, Lavi sighed. It was already 2pm and he hadn't eaten since sometime yesterday evening. His stomach rumbled loudly, again reminding himself of Allen. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to fish for coins, but found an old penny, a pen nib, a piece of string and some pocket lilt. Useful.

"Jeez, didn't I have loads of money last night?" He asked aloud before realising that he had, of course, spent it on ridiculous amounts of alcohol with his new made friend. The old penny wasn't going to buy him much.

"....Maybe I can be creative....." he mumbled, tying the string around the penny and sticking the nib in the loop. "Never know, might come up with something that could save my life...."

"Lavi?" He jumped and spun around at the sound of his name being voiced worriedly from behind him. He smiled when he saw Lenalee standing looking at him curiously with a bag of shopping under her arm. "Why are you here? You never come to this part of town!"

"Heh, well you know, had an Allen moment....."

"Lost?"

"Very."

Lenalee sighed at him but looked relieved. "You had me worried sick, young man! Where on earth _were_ you last night?!"

"Aah, you know, moping."

"Moping? Why?"

"Yullen."

"Excuse me?"

Realising that he had just used a made up word to describe his actions, Lavi waved his hands to her, trying to rephrase what he meant. "Sorry, that made no sense. Uh, do you know about Yuu-chan and Allen?"

Lenalee stopped whatever small amount of movement she had been doing before and stared straight at him. She always was one to gossip, "There's something? I don't know about anything Lavi.... Explain."

"W-well if you haven't been told then it's probably best-"

"Lavi!! Don't let me know there's 'a thing' and then not tell me! What's going on with those-" She gasped, dropping her shopping (which Lavi caught) at the same time. ".....Oh my goodness, they have a 'thing', don't they?"

"I didn't tell you."

"No, but you're making it pretty obvious!" she repressed a squeal of excitement, "but, my, that's gotta be tough on you, Lavi." She put her hand gently on his arm.

"Heh, don't worry, I drank my troubles away last night, ehehe....." He couldn't talk about those two now. His heart was raw with pain and he couldn't bear thinking about what the two of them would be up to, what they probably did last night..... It was too much to cope.

After receiving a part annoyed, part worried look off Lenalee, an idea struck Lavi. "And hey, I'm not fussed, I slept with some guy I didn't even know last night!" he gave her a thumbs up as he finished his half truth, smiling.

"You did _WHAT?!?!_" She screamed, staring at him. "Lavi!! I knew you were easy but not that easy!!"

"Thanks Lenalee. Really appreciate that."

"Oh you know what I mean," she said, waving her hand at him. "but Lavi, why? I thought you.... You know.... _loved_ him...."

"Well yeah, I do. And I was only teasing, ehehe...."

"Pardon?"

"Ahaha, well, sure I slept with the guy, being in the same bed and all. Don't mean I fucked him though, does it?"

"....Oh."

"My my, miss Lee! Jumping to conclusions!" he tapped her on the nose, "So, gonna show me how to get back or not?"

ooooooooooooo

Debitto leaned against the door, sighing. Lavi had only been gone two minutes yet already Debitto was tempted to leg it out of the door and get him back. He missed his new friend-- not that he would ever admit to such a thing out loud.

He started when he heard a door slam from behind the one he was leaning against. He moved back and turned to look, intending to go out of the door for inspection, just in time as the door was swung open forcefully by Tyki. The Portuguese man stubbed out his cigarette on the wall before turning to look at Debitto, an angry glare on his face. "Where did you meet him, Bi?" he inquired.

"Che, I told you, didn't I? I met him at the bar......"

"Which bar?"

"The one I'm having my party in!!"

"That tells me nothing."

"Che," Debitto rolled his eyes, handing Tyki a piece of paper from his pocket, "This one**(1)**."

"Right...." Tyki looked at him oddly before continuing his questions. "Who is he, how old is he and what are his intentions with you?"

"Awww, Tyki," Debitto cooed, moving to hug the older man, "anyone would think you were worried about me!"

"Not likely." he cut in, pushing the smaller's arms from around his waist, "But if you get involved with someone dodgy then you're gonna come crying to me when it all goes wrong. And to tell you the truth I can't be dealing with that, now or ever." With his final statement Tyki turned to leave.

Debitto's heart felt heavy. Tyki always had to say cruel things like that, words that would crush all of his hopes in a single blow. Usually he'd make it up to him that night.... But that was before he'd gotten bored of him.

"Jeez, thanks for making me feel better...."

"No problem." was his answer as Tyki made his way to the door.

"But you know what I think?"

"No, and neither do I care." he replied, continuing to the door and starting to leave.

"I think you're just jealous."

The door slammed. "Jealous? Of that twat?" Tyki was behind him, but Debitto was too scared to turn around and face him. He didn't want to become submissive. Not anymore.

"Yeah.... You're jealous that I've made a friend." Debitto's voice was quiet, but at least he was able to keep his head looking straight ahead. No fear here, no sir.

Tyki was quiet for a moment before laughing quietly. "Heh, Bi, honey, I don't care who you're friends with so long as they don't bother me. You don't mean shit, sugar." the door opened again.

"You're just upset because you want me to only want you, am I right?"

Tyki laughed again. "Damn you've sussed my big secret!" he stated sarcastically, "Sorry Bi, but I'm not interested in some kid like-"

"Shut up."

Tyki just stared at the back of his head, not that Debitto could see. "....What did you say?"

"You think denying everything to do with me makes you a bigger, better, man? Well it doesn't- it just makes you seem weak coz you're too much of a coward to accept the things you've done." He wasn't sure when the tears had started falling, but his vision was blurred to the point that closing his eyes caused big fat tears to roll down his cheeks, leaving tracks as they fell.

Tyki was behind him in seconds, yanking his head by the hair to look him in the eyes. "I don't appreciate that kind of language, Bi dear."

"But you know it's true!" he near screamed, pushing the older man away from him so that they were facing each other. Tyki had that cool, calm expression on his face again, the one Debitto wanted to rip right off. He hated it so much, nothing he did could make an impact on the man anymore. He might as well not even be there.

"You only ever pay me attention when you think someone is going to take me away. You're like a spoilt child, mister Mikk. You don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me either!"

Tyki just lit another cigarette, puffing once before removing it and giving Debitto a wry smile. "Don't go thinking you're so great, boy. You know full well I don't care about you."

"Then why make a big fuss about me being friends with Lavi then?"

"Coz the guys a dick! You don't wanna go hanging around with those kinda guys, Bi. Too dangerous." Another puff of his cigarette. Debitto tried (but failed) not to look at his mouth as he did so. Much as he hated the bastard, he really was good looking. He wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips- he smiled to himself. _"Ironic, really. Outta all the things I __have__ done with this man, I've never kissed him...."_

"And there you go again, contradicting yourself!" he exclaimed, drawing his attention away from those lips. "You say you don't care about me, then lecture me not to go around with unsafe persons! Make up your damn mind already!" With an exasperated growl, Debitto moved to look out of the window. He hated this- always getting into fights with Tyki. The man was supposed to take care of him, especially after what they had been through. Yet recently he's seemed as though he can't be bothered. Like he really doesn't care. Debitto had come to accept that he was worth nothing, having been told that so many times. It had been since he had gotten older, Debitto realised with a start.

Tyki had started losing interest not long after Debitto's 17th birthday. **(2)**

He felt Tyki wrap his arms around his shoulders, leaning down to kiss his neck. Debitto suppressed a smile.

"You know, I don't know what you're so het up about, Bi." Tyki murmured, still leaving butterfly kisses along Debitto's neck. "You still get to have me, don't be so damn fussy."

"Yeah..." he carried on looking out the window. If he dared look at Tyki then he knew he'd give in to anything the man said. Just like he always did. "It's not.... the same though, is it?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, it just seems like I'm more of a convenience now then a.... you know....lover....."

Tyki barked a laugh, "No offence Bi, but you were always just a convenience. To me any way."

"....Thanks." Debitto swung the taller man's arms from off of his shoulders, moving hastily towards the door. He was hoping to leave before Tyki saw the fresh tears in his eyes.

When he made it to the door, Tyki called to him from his post at the window. "You know, playing hard to get will never make me try harder. I'll just move on and you know it."

Debitto stopped for a minute before continuing out of the room. He wished Friday would hurry up and come....

He wanted to see Lavi.

oooooooooooooo

Allen sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. Sunlight was streaming through the poorly pulled curtains as Allen shifted slightly, suppressing a very unsightly yawn. He flopped to the side before springing right back up again. He hadn't landed on the other side of the mattress as he had anticipated, he had landed on a Kanda.

A half naked Kanda, mind you.

Allen stared down at the no-longer-sleeping figure, wondering how he had managed to forget last night's events. Kanda sat up, wobbling slightly as he did so and looked at Allen.

"What d'you think you're doing, baka-face?"

"Well sorry I fell, BaKanda."

"Thanks for apologising." He groaned, moving to go back under the covers before Allen pounced.

"Don't sleep now, sweetie! It's morning!"

Kanda turned groggily to look at the clock, "Actually, it's 2 pm." a moment passed before his eyes grew in realisation. "Holy crap we slept half the day away!" Leaping from the bed, Kanda grabbed his remaining clothes and pelted for the door, running straight into Lavi.

"Uh, Lavi, hi. Yeah, um.... just leaving, you know.... I-I was only there for a second you know! It's not like I spent the night... You know 'cause that'd just be _wrong_, what with us only just getting together and stuff...."

Lavi made a sound at the back of his throat, "You don't have to explain yourself to me, Yuu-chan. You two can do whatever the hell you want, I don't care....." Lavi's chest was on fire. He wanted to hit the samurai for making it so blatantly obvious, especially seeing Allen's look of pure embarrassment over the shorter man's shoulder. Really, Kanda had no tact at times.

"Well, not like I _care _what you think anyway! Che, baka usagi, making me look stupid..." the two of them could hear Kanda's rants as he carried on down the hallway, obviously embarrassed for acting so out of character.

Lavi turned his attention to Allen. "So..... Busy night?" Allen shied away under the covers, hiding his luminous blush. Lavi stepped into the room properly, closing the door behind him. "Allen...."

"Please don't hate me Lavi! I didn't know you liked him a-and I wouldn't have taken him away if I'd known, I swear!" Lavi was walking towards his bed. Allen panicked. "R-really Lavi! I'm not trying to ruin anything! Y-you two can still be friends.... okay that was a stupid thing to say..... But even so-" Allen stopped short when Lavi's arms wound there way around his slim shoulders. Allen hadn't even noticed Lavi sit down on the bed, he had been too busy blushing.

"Allen.... baka! Like I would hate you, ya damn bean sprout. Okay, yes, I wanna do your boyfriend and have done for a very long time, but I'm never going to get the chance, okay?" he smiled down at his smaller friend, wishing in his heart that he could just curl up and cry on his shoulder. Maybe he'd go find Debi later, he'd listen.

"And I'm probably never going to get over him either. So don't you go feeling bad for loving someone just coz I want him, ya hear?" He tapped Allen on the nose, smiling again. Even if it felt like Kanda was his, that he had gotten there first, he needed to be wanted back for that to be true. Allen was a good friend, he didn't need to be upset just because Lavi was.

"O-okay! Thanks, Lavi, you're the best!" he hugged his friend tight to his chest. It was good to get over Lavi, it never would have worked out the way Allen wanted it to anyway.

Lavi smiled to himself, one arm still around the smaller exorcist, looking out of the window. "But you know, its probably between half one and three pm at the moment, judging by the sun's position." He looked down at Allen. "Jesus, what were you two _up _to last night! You must have been pretty damn tired.... Actually, don't tell me."

Allen blushed and laughed lightly, moving away from Lavi to sit up straight. "W-well, you know.... just stuff...."

"_The damn kid lost it before me..." _Lavi thought to himself, mild anger coming into him. _"AND with the man I wanted.... still do want if I'm honest...."_

"Lavi? You okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine! Don't worry, kiddo." He smiled ruffling Allen's hair. That was right, if he wanted to stay friends with Allen then he would have to get used to him talking about his Yuu-chan in ways he only wanted to.

Not that he was ever 'his' Yuu-chan....

"By the way, Allen, I'm going out to a do on Friday night." He smiled "feel free to come if you can keep your tongue outta Yuu-chan's mouth long enough!" Allen would have taken that as something said with malice had Lavi not been grinning like a fool. Instead he nudged him in the ribs in faux anger.

"Shush you. And sure, who's do is it?"

"Just a friend's," Lavi's smile became visibly brighter at that, though he didn't seem to notice it. Allen decided not to probe any further. He'd find out if he went.

"Sure thing!" he smiled his over bright smile, "Roll on Friday!"

ooooooooooooooo

Debitto hit the wall in front of him, causing his knuckles to bleed. He could hear Jasdero's voice in his head, begging him not to do anything else. Closing his eyes, he saw what his blond haired twin saw. He was running up a staircase, the spiral one to the left of the house.

Running towards him.

"Fucking hard to get bull crap.... I'm not trying to be god damn hard to get!!" He screamed at the wall. In his heart he knew that he was being the complete opposite. Since Tyki had begun to lose interest, Debitto had become more clingy and desperate.

Anything just to keep the man he loved close by.

Jasdero burst through the door, panting heavily and looking around for his twin. Seeing him by the far wall, he rushed over to his side. _"What have you done, Deb....."_

"None of your goddamn business, so get outta here!"

Jasdero spun his dark haired twin around to look at him, "Like hell I'm leaving you in this state."

"I don't need you! I don't need anyone! Leave me alone!" He turned back to his wall, wishing he could hide his face better from the one person he would never be able to escape.

"We both know damn well that that's not true, Deb." Jasdero spoke quietly as he wrapped his arms around his twin's shoulders. Debitto just cried harder. "And if you're upset then I sure as hell can't help you, but I will try until my throat bleeds and my tongue drops out." He snuggled his face into Debitto's back, hoping to give him some kind of comfort.

Debitto che'd, but smiled all the same. "You're an idiot, aren't you?"

"Yes. Heehee!"

"Che." Debitto turned around and accepted the hug his counterpart was putting onto him. "..... Stay this way as long as you can, retard." he said, now returning the hug Jasdero initiated.

"For ever and ever, amen."

"Well, if you can."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I might end up killing you if you do it too much, weirdo!"

Jasdero laughed his trademark deranged laugh before jumping on Debitto in a bridal lift, waiting to be held. "You know just how to make me feel happy!"

"Che, moron." he hoisted the slightly smaller Noah onto his back, "Now lets go play a game with Relo!"

"D'you mean..... _That _game?"

"That's the one!" he answered as he started to run down the spiral staircase.

"YAHOO!!!!"

ooooooooooooooooo

Jasdero collapsed on the sofa in a fit of giggles, being shortly followed by his slightly older twin. They had played their favourite game with Relo, being that Jasdero would distract the pink umbrella by confessing his undying love for it whilst Debitto set it on fire. **(3) **It was the twelfth time that Relo had fallen for it, but it was still as hilarious as the first time.

Regaining the ability to breath before Jasdero, Debitto sat up and shot a red bomb into the fireplace, starting a nice, warm, (if not slightly exaggerated) fire. Laziness at it's best.

He turned to find his twin chewing the end of the toy gun, almost blowing his head in half in the process. Debitto snatched it off him, 'che'ing. "Jesus Jas, if you're gonna chew the damn thing then at least don't load it first!"

Jasdero laughed insanely, "But that way's more fun!"

"Then put paper in it, I dunno...."

"Naaaaw, you're worried."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Che, I'm not worried, I'm just looking out for you is all. If you got your brain blown to pieces then we wouldn't make a very good JasDebi, now would we?"

"I guess not...." Jasdero leaned on Debitto's arm, who in turn moved it to give the blond a better pillow. "You always did take care of me.... Even back then..."

"Yeah.... I did, didn't I? Heh," Debitto looked down at Jasdero's parting, asking himself more than his companion, "Is it just me, or do those days seem..... distant somehow?"

"I know what you mean... But I still remember more then you."

"Liar."

"It's true!"

"Really?" He turned to face his twin, forcing him to sit up. "So ask me something only you remember."

"Okay...." Jasdero thought to himself for a minute. Debitto concentrated as hard s he could without appearing to be doing so. Finally, Jasdero thought of something. "Aha! What was the name of the big scary man that wanted to take me away?"

Debitto had the answer in a second, seeing it in his twin's mind was almost as easy as seeing it in his own. "Cameron. And he wanted to take you away because he mistook you for a bald monkey and wanted to give you in to the city pound." Debitto laughed at the memory, "Then I bit him on the hand - that was a good day!"

"Hey, you cheated!" Jasdero cried while attempting to push his dark haired twin off the sofa, "Although, I forgot that you'd bitten him...... Heehee!"

"Heh," Debitto shrugged, palms facing the ceiling, "What's a brother to do?"

"Well a _good _brother would have helped me when I was crying in that alley that one time....."Jasdero tapped his chin looking off into the distance, "But as for _you_....."

Debitto shoved his twin onto the floor, "You were only crying coz that damn pimp had taken me away for a quick shag around the corner!!" Debitto flipped his hair out of his eyes. "Not that I'm that easy, anyway. That bastard couldn't have me if he paid me!"

"You're not easy? Oh..."

"Don't even think about saying that you thought I was."

"Well, you lost it at age _eleven._ Most people would find that a little... slutty."

"Well I don't care what 'most people' think. And yeah I know, I'm a cheap whore and guys like me come two for penny.... But do I care? No, coz even if I was only eleven I loved him."

"No sugar, he forced you."

Debitto scoffed, blushing. "Like hell he did! T-Tyki's not like that...."

"Dude, I watched it happen. You got raped in the ass by a butt-bandit."

Suppressing a laugh, Debitto continued. "I did not get _raped_ by him, okay? I loved him, I still do." Debitto drew his feet up onto the sofa, hugging his knees. "He can do what he likes with me. So long as he still wants me, I don't care."

"You don't care about a lot of things, do you?" Jasdero asked while climbing up to sit next Debitto. He threw his arms around him, turning his entire body to face him. "You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. But we both know how scared you were."

"Shut up. I was _not _scared. I was totally ready for him, got that?!"

Jasdero just looked at his twin. Debitto could hear loud and clear what he was thinking: _"You're stupid, you know that? Stupider than even me. You think you can fool me with just words.... I feel what you feel, see what you see and cry when you cry. Do NOT tell me that you were not terrified that night, coz I could have crapped myself I was that scared." _But he said none of it, simply holding his twin close to his chest.

Debitto liked it there. He felt warm and safe, something which had only occurred several years after they had been found by the Noah clan. Jasdero had never been able to even look out for himself, let alone Debitto too. So that had been Debitto's job. Since they had been left on the streets, orphaned and alone, Debitto had looked after Jasdero. Nowhere would take them in, everyone believing that there was something wrong with Jasdero, that he was cursed by the devil. Debitto would not leave Jasdero's side; he was all he had.

They had been abandoned by God.

Since the age of seven they had had to fight their way through absolutely everything, growing up in a rough area on the streets. It was a dangerous place for any child, let alone ones that were alone, so young and one with problems. Jasdero had watched their parents be murdered, in cold blood, and had never fully recovered. He wished to make himself as un-human as possible, because the only good humans in the world, two of them had been killed right in front of his eyes. In a fit of madness and fear Jasdero had even gone as far as sewing his mouth almost entirely together.

Debitto was the only human left alive that wasn't bad, the only one Jasdero could trust. And every one who met him could tell that Debitto was different. Not like the other boys his age, too rough from having been forced to grow up so fast, too easily hurt from suffering the loss of his parents with no one to talk to. Nobody wanted to know him, and nobody wanted to be his friend. Their parents would forbid them from talking to the two, saying they were 'the devil's children' and would curse them if they let them draw near. The only people left to talk to were people who wanted to buy their bodies, or each other.

And each other was a much more preferable option then the former.

Until that day. Not long after they had turned eleven, a large man in a cream coat and very big teeth had approached them, promising to give them a family. Promising them that they would not have to deal with another pathetic human again. They only had to associate with the better humans of the world. The Noahs. People like them. It was on that day they changed.

And it was on that day their minds melded together.

Jasdero flicked the ends of his hair, thinking to himself. He'd managed to calm Debitto down and was now sat on the sofa staring into space. That guy Lavi popped into his head. He was nice- a little shocking that Deb had made friends with him so easily, but he was nice. Pity he was an exorcist though, he was pretty cute.

Jasdero started. Did he, the infamous mental case, just consider someone attractive?! No, it had to be Deb's influence.

He looked around at his twin for a second. He was also looking off into space, his mind very blank and without anything interesting to listen in on. Turning his eyes back to the crack in the wall, he voiced a random thought.

"You know, I'm surprised you didn't fuck Lavi, if I'm honest."

"Why, coz I'm a cheap slut?"

"No, because you wanted to." Jasdero's voice sounded distant. He wasn't really paying attention, that was obvious. Therefore Debitto didn't take what he was saying to badly. He knew it was true, why deny it?

"Yeah...... I was drunk though. I got scared at the last minute, right before making a move. And you know, once I'm scared there's no _way _my inner whore's gonna come out!"

"Yeah...."

Debitto looked away from his twin then, not really bothered about the conversation. "Kinda glad I didn't actually. I made a friend for the first time in, what, 12 years? Heh..... Aaah well."

"I am listening... just can't be assed to talk....."

"Yeah..."

They both stared vacantly at the wall before the life came back into Jasdero's eyes and he turned to his twin, excitement filling his very round eyes. "Wanna go get pizza?"

"Hell yeah!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tyki leaned back on the slightly too comfy chair, covering his eyes with his hands. He hated the effect that brat had on him. He didn't care what he did, it wasn't like they were together or anything. They'd been together, sure. But that was different. Bi had been there, been convenient. And sure the boy was attractive, but that was just an added bonus, not something to make Tyki doubt his actions. There was only one reason behind him getting worked up at Bi spending the night with that red-headed slag was that he owned the boy. He was his and always would be. He had promised all those years ago..... 'so long as you'll still have me, I'll always be yours.' Therefore, he was Tyki's possession who shouldn't be gallivanting around with people he didn't know were safe.

It was not because Tyki cared, or that he loved him. That surely had to be the only reason.

Surely.....

Tyki sighed and lit a cigarette. He hated how much this bothered him. He hated that he was thinking so much about the boy. He hated how clingy he was, too. It had been 8 years since they had first been together and Tyki couldn't help but grow tired of him. The plan had been to leave him to his own devices for a week or two and then the fire would be back, burning at every part of him until he could touch the younger Noah. But, being as he was, Bi had only gotten scared. Scared of loosing him, of being replaced. He had clung to Tyki as a child would cling to their mother. He had cried, and looked adorable while doing so. Tyki had given in, promised him that he wouldn't leave him.

And he was now stuck with no break. It was almost as if he were being forced into a relationship with the boy.

And that was _not _how Tyki Mikk worked.

Tyki looked up at the ceiling. He was agitated, he always got like this when he thought too much about the brat. _"You couldn't just give me a break, could you Bi?"_ Everything seemed to be reminding him of things he didn't want to be reminded of. When he had seen the boy cry earlier it had brought back memories of him when he was younger, lying on Tyki's bed, crying and whispering his name into the dark, save anyone should hear them. When he had seen him trying to look so determined, staring out of the window to avoid his eyes, he had remembered him determinedly informing Road that no, there was nothing going on between him and Tyki and no, she had not seen him creep into his room late the night before. That and the infinite sadness he held in his eyes whenever he denied being with Tyki, the sadness only he and his deranged blond twin could see. He didn't want to remember all the little things that stopped the younger Noah from being Debitto, a part of Jasdebi, the Noah of bonds and made him Bi, Tyki's little pet whom he loved dearly.

Tyki sat upright in his chair. No, he had not just said that he loved Bi, it simply would not happen. He just..... thought something stupid in the moment. That was it. Tyki Mikk did not fall in love.

He stood up, annoyed as to where his mind was taking his thoughts. He was stupid to think things like that, even if only for a second. He did not want to see that brat again, at least not for a few days. He did not want to take him, either. He absolutely did not want to watch him sleep, all curled up in the blanket, moonlight shining lightly on his ashen skin, looking so innocent........ Tyki mentally slapped himself. There he was again, thinking the most inappropriate things. He needed a break.

Lifting himself from his chair, Tyki put on his top hat and left for the front door. Maybe a walk would clear his head a bit.

oooooooooooooooooo

**_(1) - .Lavi-chan couldn't think of a good name for the place where Debi's party's going to be, so it was left as 'this place'._**

**_(2) - we presume that Debi is 19, although it might not be true. Dunno~_**

**_Hope you enjoyed it! I'll whip the authoress into shape to try and get her to finish the next one soon and it actually get her to upload it this time xD oh and please review~!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey!! Me again :] it's finally up! Sorry for the lateness, the majority of this chapter was already written when I uploaded the previous one, I just had to finish it -.- but I finally got it so yay xD**

**Disclaimer:** **Not my people.**

**ooooooooooo**

Debitto sat at the table in the far corner of the bar, holding his head up with his hand. It was Friday night, the night Debitto got to see Lavi again, but he wasn't happy. After only 20 minutes Tyki had made an excuse to leave, and now, after one and a half hours of supposed 'party' time, Lavi still hadn't shown up. And he'd promised.

Debitto had half a mind to just up and leave. There was no point celebrating if the people you cared about most weren't there.

Except that his most important person _was _there..... With that Debitto decided to go and annoy said person. Jasdero was having a great time, after all.

Ooooooooooooooooo

"Allen, you look fine, can we please leave now?!"

Lavi was stood leaning against the doorway to Allen's room. Allen was in his bathroom, sorting his hair for the fourth time that night. First he had been too scruffy, then it wouldn't stay down, then it looked to good and he thought he looked like he was trying too hard before finally deciding that the scruffy look was just fine. They were now, however, an hour late.

"But I've gotta look nice Lavi!" he exclaimed from the bathroom. Lavi rolled his one visible eye. "I can't turn up looking like I can't be bothered now can I?"

"In a minute you won't be turning up! Hurry up before I go without you!" Lavi checked his watch again. 8:15. An hour and a quarter late.

"Come on, Moyashi, you look fine. Your hair is lovely, now can we please just leave?"

"Does it really look okay?"

Lavi sighed less audibly. Honestly, Allen acted like a teenage girl sometimes. "Yes, dear, it's lovely. Now hurry up! Do you wanna go to this thing or not?"

"Of course I wanna go! I wanna see who it was that made you-" Allen stopped suddenly, popping his head out of the doorway to look evilly at Lavi, who was staring wide eyed at him.

"Made me what?"

".....Ehehe...." Allen left the bathroom, picked up his coat and stood next to Lavi. "Made you smile like this." He said, demonstrating with a very sweet, genuinely happy smile, his eyes creasing in the corners and a little bit of teeth showing.

"Shaddup titch, I never smile like that..."

"But you did. You looked soooooo happy when you mentioned this 'friend', who I can only assume you spent the night with a few days ago, am I right?" they were nearly out of the order by then. Lavi looked away, blushing a little. Maybe bringing Allen wasn't his smartest move.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Allen probed.

"Ke, listen shorty I made a friend is all. Don't go acting like I'm some freaking Juliet or something."

Allen laughed lightly as they found their way outside. Walking past a window, Allen stopped dead. Lavi turned to see what had caused his companion to stop, "What's up, Moyashi?"

"......Do you think this outfit is okay?"

".....Oh for the love of God..." Lavi turned to carry on walking, shortly followed by a nervous Allen.

Oooooooooooooooo

Debitto twirled the straw around in his drink. He was bored, Jasdero was off having fun by wrecking havoc to someone neither of them knew (so why they had been invited Debitto didn't know.) and trying to persuade his twin to do the same. However, Debitto really wasn't in the mood to act childish.

It was twenty to nine. Lavi was really late.... That or he just wasn't coming.

Debitto's heart fell. Just when he thought he'd made a friend, they go and do this.

Just then the door opened. Debitto looked up without too much interest and his face lit up when he saw the mass of windswept red hair. Lavi.

He practically jumped up before realising that he probably seemed a little over enthusiastic, his smile just a little too bright._ "Whoa, way to act like a love struck maiden, Deb...."_ but still he headed towards the door, mild anger setting in deeper with each step.

When he reached the red head his back was towards him, talking to someone Debitto couldn't see. He jabbed his finger into the taller man's shoulder blade, scowling at him as he turned around, "You're la-"

"DEBI-CHAN!!!" Lavi shouted at him as he threw his arms around the smaller of the two, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry we're late! I would've been hear earlier but you know..." Debitto could hear Lavi's voice vibrating in his chest. It made him smile.

"We?"

"Oh, yeah, ahaha.... Hope you don't mind I brought I friend!" He turned around, arm still around Debitto's shoulders to indicate the smaller boy behind him. He had shocking white hair and a peculiar red scar over his left eye. He was also glaring at Debitto.

"...Please, please God tell me that's not Kanda."

Lavi let out a hearty laugh. "Nah, Yuu-chan's at home. This here is Allen Walker."

"Another Exorcist?"

"As good as they come, ehehe."

Allen, who was still glaring at Debitto, pulled lightly on Lavi's sleeve, "Lavi.... Can I have a word with you please...."

"Sure, fire away."

"In _private._"

"Ah, I think not." Debitto declared, grabbing hold of Lavi's left arm and holding on tight. "You two have only just got here, I don't want you running off again so soon!"

"Tch, fine," Allen pulled down on Lavi's right sleeve so that his ear was next to Allen's mouth. "You didn't tell me it was a _Noah_ you had 'made friends' with! What the hell are you doing!"

"I can hear you, you know."

Allen gave Debitto his best dirty look before Lavi turned to his friend. "Ah.... look Debi, maybe I should just leave for a minute, you know, to explain things to Allen." he smiled at the smaller, releasing his hands from his arm.

Debitto's face was almost unreadable. He didn't look particularly happy about the prospect of Lavi leaving him there, but neither did he look upset. A part of him looked like he was accusing Lavi of wanting to leave him there on his own, amidst the sadness and loss and anger.

"....Fine."

"Right, that's great then. Lavi, lets go." Allen tried to drag Lavi away with him out the door, but the red head stayed where he was, looking into Debitto's eyes. _"Why are you looking at me like that? I'm not trying to hurt you... Please don't look at me like that."_

"M-maybe Debi should come too. He can probably explain better then me anyway, ahaha..." Lavi suggested, still never once taking his eyes off the golden ones in front of him. Debitto looked surprised. He hadn't expected that. Maybe Lavi really did care..... Really _did_ want to be friends with him.....

Either that or he was trying to shut him up.

"You don't have to take me out of guilt, Lavi." He said with some malice, turning to leave before he got to emotional.

But Lavi grabbed his wrist, turning him around to face him, looking deep into his eyes with an expression that showed that he wanted to be listened to, wanted to be believed. "No, Debi. I want you there. Care to join me?"

Debitto was speechless. Nobody had ever done that to him before. Ever. It was probably that which made him want to believe Lavi no matter what. He nodded.

"Good! Well then, lets just step outside for a bit and get this all sorted out, okay?"

"Y-yeah...."

"Whatever, just hurry up. I don't want to stay in this place, they've got Akuma everywhere...."

"Heh, they won't hurt you, kid. You're not in exorcist clothes, so even if they suspect you, they won't attack." Debitto said with a less then honest smile, even though he was telling the truth.

".....Right."

The three of them made their way outside, each of the smaller males leading Lavi by one of his sleeves. Once they were outside Allen turned to Lavi, glare intact and words tumbling from his mouth at a pace that normal people would not understand. "Lavi! You're friends with a Noah! You can't do that, it's bad! For Christ's sake man open your eyes! Can't you see that what you're doing is wrong?! Think, for once in your life!! AAAGHH!!" Allen covered his face with his hands. Why couldn't Lavi see he was being an idiot?

"Allen, calm down, okay?" Lavi approached him, hands wide in front of him.

Allen looked up at him, his eyes furious. "Calm down? Calm _down_?! Are you insane!? We're dealing with a Noah here- they are more dangerous then you could ever imagine."

"Me? Dangerous? Nah, I think you've got the wrong guy mate."

"Shut up dick wad I wasn't talking to you."

"Alright Allen that's enough!" Lavi moved to stand between them, facing Allen and frowning. "It is one thing to hate me for all the stupid things I do- fine, I know I'm an idiot but I do know what I'm doing. I wouldn't even have spoken to him if I hadn't thought that I could get useful information from him."

"Charming!"

"Not now, Debi-chan." Lavi turned his attention back to Allen. "It is also one thing to insult me and patronise me because guess what buddy! I knew about Noah's before you even became an exorcist, of course I know how dangerous they are. But," He moved closer to Allen until they were practically nose to nose. His voice dropped dangerously low as he continued, "it is something _completely_ different for you to insult my friend and I will not let you do it! So either apologise now or get out of my sight."

Debitto couldn't help the small blush that shone on his cheeks. No one had ever stood up for him before.

Similarly, Allen couldn't quite suppress the tears that came to his eyes. "What's so damn special about him anyway?! You've barely known him a week and yet you're acting as though you've known him as long as you've known Bookman! It's not fair Lavi!" he wiped the tears from his eyes, which was pointless really seeing as they were just replaced with fresh ones. "When he ups and leaves you you'll come crying to us, your _real_ friends, but until then you're just gonna abandon us!We're the ones who are there for you when you need us most, we're the-"

"We?" Lavi laughed, "what _we_? The only people I can recall being there when I _really_ needed them were Lenalee and- guess what!- Debi! Who the hell else do I have to fall back on when I need them, huh?!" Lavi could see that he was hurting Allen, so he toned down, "I know you're just worried that they'll use me or get information from me, but you don't have to! I can look out for myself, Allen, you shouldn't have to worry about me..."

"Am I not good enough or something?" Allen was looking at him in that heart broken way. "Am I not a good enough friend to you, is that it? What do you want me to grow boobs or something?! Maybe be a heartless killer- your enemy?! What do you want me to do, Lavi?! Coz I'll tell you that I always thought of you as someone I could trust, and that you returned that feeling..... but if you'd rather spill your guts to this _Noah_ then-"

"Don't you dare, Allen Walker." Lavi growled at him, "Don't you even _dare._ I have a very good reason not to talk to you or anybody else, okay! It's my business, I can tell who I like..."

"Well you walk around calling Kanda your best friend yet you won't even talk to him, will you?!"

"And say what! 'Oh, hey Yuu-chan, just thought I'd tell you that I'm still in love with you and you running off with my best friend is near enough the most painful thing I've ever experienced'?!"

Allen stared at him. "You told me you were fine with it. You said you were happy for us."

"Yeah, I did, because _funnily enough_ I didn't want to hurt you. I'm stupid, I know! But at the time keeping your friendship was more important to me then the pain in my heart!"

Debitto sidled back to the wall, merely watching now. The topic of argument had been shifted off him, which was nice, and onto their own matters. He wanted to help Lavi, hit that Allen kid for being so heartless, but it wasn't his place. And he was always one to know his place.

Allen stared at Lavi. He was sure that the red head was okay with it all, that after a few days he would be over Kanda, or at least able to talk freely with the samurai. "You.... you promised me things were fine..... Why did you do that, Lavi?"

"Have I not just explained myself already?! You. Are. More. Important!!" his hands dropped to his sides. "But now it just seems..... You can't even accept Debi-chan...."

"He's a Noah, Lavi. I will never accept him."

"Have you spoken to him?"

Lavi turned to look at Debitto, standing against the wall as he was. "Never one to interfere, are you Debi?"

"Heh. Tis not my place, sir."

Lavi smiled. The real smile that made Debitto feel like his insides had turned to jelly. He blushed.

"No I haven't. And I don't intend to either." Allen turned to Debitto. "No offence."

"None taken."

"Why don't you.... Attempt a conversation? It doesn't have to be long, just..... talk for a bit." Lavi stepped back so that the two were looking directly at each other. Well, would have been if Allen would look at him.

"So.... Allen was it? Uh... I like what you've done with your hair. Kinda messy lookin'" He smiled, "It's nice."

Allen smiled slightly, although he tried to hide it. "Thank you. That's.... Actually that's why we were so late getting here, heh." Allen blushed a little, feeling embarrassed that he had taken so much care over looking good when this is what had come of it.

"Cheek! Well, I don't care. Ya turned up so that's all that matters, ehe." He grinned at Allen, hoping for something back. He would be polite because Lavi wanted him to. This boy was a good friend of Lavi's, so he would make an effort. Not that this kid deserved it, moody bugger. "You know, you can look at me, Allen."

"Yeah I know...."

"So why don't you?"

Allen stayed looking at the floor to the right of where Debitto was standing. He was yet to look properly at the Noah since his dispute with Lavi. Debitto sighed.

"Okay, okay, that's some good conversing guys!" Lavi said, somewhere between sarcastic and honest. "You did what I asked, so if you want to go home now Allen I'll understand......" Allen nodded, turning to leave. He looked up at the Noah boy before he left.

"...... Sorry I ruined your party, sir."

"Heh, no problem kiddo, " he gave him a thumbs, closing one eye. "and what's up with 'sir'? Deb will do just fine, mmkay?"

"S-sure." Allen turned around, walking again. "Bye Lavi! S-sorry Deb!"

Then he was gone. Lavi and Debitto were left alone, standing side by side. It shouldn't have been uncomfortable, and for Lavi it wasn't. He simply stood there, hands tucked comfortably behind his head, watching Allen's back slowly retreat. However, Debitto couldn't shake the unease that had been awakened in him. He had so many questions he wanted to ask Lavi, they all seemed to merge into one, getting jumbled up and confused inside his head. He wanted to know why he was acting so strange as well. Damn that Jasdero for thinking those things!

Lavi turned to look at the smaller boy next to him, who seemed to be deep in thought. "You okay, Debi-chan?"

"Uwha? Oh, yeah I'm fine, don't worry kay?"

"Heh, sure." Lavi turned away again, smiling. "Can I say something really girly?"

"I'm sure you can.... What?"

Lavi looked at Debitto, his hands coming down from the back of his head. He smiled his genuine smile, full of meaning and truth, the only expression nowadays that he didn't fake. And Debitto was the one to see it most frequently. His stomach did little somersaults whenever Lavi smiled like that, especially now with the moon light shining gently off of his single emerald eye and softening the vibrancy of his pitchfork red hair. He really was beautiful, Debitto had to admit it, even if part of him didn't want to. "I really missed you these past few days."

Debitto could hear the blood pulsing through his ears and knew that he was blushing. A lot. He turned his face away from the smiling exorcist, intent on hiding his crimson cheeks. He could hear Jasdero's voice in his head, _"You like him!"_

"_Shut up boy, I do not like Lavi."_

"_But you like him! Why else would you blush so much at him saying that? Huh? Think about it, think about it...."_

"_I do not like Lavi, I do not like Lavi...."_

"_You're just in denial is all, heehee!"_

"_I will come in there and rip your hair out if you don't stop it!"_

"_Eep!"_

Debitto che'd, _"And anyway, I love Tyki. So it doesn't matter how hot and kind and sweet and hot and funny and honest and.... well, Lavi, Lavi is, I do not like him. I belong to Tyki."_

"_You said hot twice."_

"_Shut up."_

Debitto could hear Jasdero giggling in his head. _"Jeez, Deb, you so blatantly want to do him!"_

"_What you say fool!?"_

"Um..... Debi?"

Debitto snapped out of his conversation with his twin and looked around at Lavi, slightly dumbstruck, "Ha?"

"Ah, sorry, but you were spaced out for like 5 minutes.... I thought I might have killed you or something! Haha..." Lavi looked nervous and it softened Debitto's heart. He was so sweet.

"Che, what are you worried about? It's not like I'm gonna run off and leave coz I'm a scary homophobe..... I'm not Kanda, you know!"

Lavi laughed, pulling Debitto into a tight embrace as he did so. "You know, I'm glad I met you."

"Heh, thanks gay boy." Debitto said from Lavi's chest. ".... I'm.... Glad I met you too..."

"What's this?! The Noah boy cares!?"

"Fuck off bitch..... Of course I care...."

Lavi just smiled to himself, nuzzling his mouth against the top of Debitto's head. He was shocked at how easy it was to be open with the boy. Lavi never let anyone in, not ever... And yet, after only knowing this boy he should hate a short amount of time, Lavi often found himself telling Debitto exactly what he wanted to say, at any time. But the scary part was that Lavi wanted to. When the smaller male wasn't around he missed his conversation, and when he was there it seemed that he couldn't say enough. He felt.... safe around the Noah, which was something that, if he thought about it, he had only ever felt when close to Kanda. Even knowing that Debitto cared..... that one small bit of information was enough to make him feel on top of the world, with the tight feeling he got inside his chest whenever Debitto did something cute without realising it. He would have to hug him more often.

He smiled down at the boy who was now looking up at him. "So, I guess you want to go back and enjoy your party, huh?"

Debitto sighed in contemplation before answering, "Nah. I've got all the people I want riiiiiight here." he said, snuggling his face into Lavi's broad chest. He felt Lavi tense slightly and smiled at how he stuttered his 'thank you.' And he could also hear Jasdero shouting inside his head at not being classed as one of his most important people. But that all seemed trivial compared to the other thing he could hear.

Lavi's heartbeat.

He was enjoying it's sound so much that it didn't even occur to him that he had just said something a lover would say (and which also proved Jasdero's theory of 'you like him'.). However, his thoughts were interrupted when Lavi spoke.

"Jesus, it's cold out here isn't it?"

Debitto smiled, he hadn't noticed the cold, Lavi was so warm. "I have a blanket inside if you wanna go sit somewhere?"

"You sure? I don't wanna drag you away from the festivities now do I? Hehe..."

"It's no problem, honest!" Debitto moved back and smiled at Lavi, pulling him lightly by the hand towards the door to the bar. A sadistic part of him wished that Tyki was here. Then he could flaunt his new friend off to him. That would be quite enjoyable.

No one paid attention when they came in, still hand in hand, heading for the back room. Debitto only stuck his head in for a minute to grab the blanket, but Lavi was still very aware how dodgy it would have looked. As they headed back outside, Lavi saw a blond Noah, which he recognised to be Debitto's twin, Jasdero, glaring at them while smiling. God only knew what he was thinking about.

As they made their way out into the cold air, Lavi let go of Debitto's hand. However, missing the warmth the other boy had, he then wrapped his arm around his shoulders, leaning down so he was looking at the side of his eye. "So, where we going Debi-chan?"

Debitto looked at Lavi's very close eye, smiling, "Leave it to me, I know the perfect place...."

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Whoa, talk about a perfect place!" Lavi exclaimed, taking in the view around him. They were stood to the side of the river that they had jumped into in their drunken state only a few days ago, just slightly further down. The bank was steep-ish leading down to the river, too steep to be unsafe, yet steep enough to roll down. Which Lavi did.

Just managing to stop himself before he landed in the water, Lavi sat up and looked across the water. He was vaguely aware of Debitto shouting things at him not too far away, but the calmness of the river and opposing bank were much more attention-grabbing.

"....stupid idiot, what the hell does he think he's doing?! Honestly, ya need a lead or something, man...." Debitto muttered as he made his way to where Lavi was sitting. "Get away from the water, retard, you'll fall in." He said, hooking his arm under Lavi's and attempting to pull him up.

"But..." Despite Debitto's efforts, he still managed to pull away from the Noah towards the water, running his fingers over it lightly, "it's so _pretty...._"

"Che, I don't care if you can see the freaking virgin Mary in there, you need to _shift_."

Lavi complied without too much fuss, having Debitto lead him by the arm to a dry spot a little way up from the river bank. Lavi sat down with his knees up, arms resting lazily across them. He was staring down at the water again, before looking up to see what Debitto, who was unfolding the blanket, was doing.

"Hehe, do you really want me that bad, Debi?" Lavi asked with a friendly grin. He had intended it as a _"do you want me to stay where you can see me like a good little boy, mummy?" _but the way he had said it sounded no where near as innocent to Debitto's ears.

He turned sharply to look at Lavi, stuttering and blushing a dark crimson. "Wh-what the hell, Lavi!? What kind of a q-question i-is that! I-Of course I don't w-w-want you, don't be stupid!"

Lavi blinked at his blushing friend before getting it and laughing. Debitto scowled furiously at the red head, cheeks and ears still very pink. He hated being laughed at. "Shaddup, dick head. How exactly is that funny!"

"No.... I'm not..." Lavi could barely breathe since he was laughing so much. "I just....." he got his breath back before continuing. ".... Realised what I just said is all.... hehehehe...." before the laughing came back just as strong as before.

"O-oh." Debitto looked away, still blushing, embarrassed at having shouted at Lavi. He hated this. He was always embarrassed around Lavi. He scowled again, holding out the blanket. "Here."

Lavi ceased his laughter fairly abruptly, looking up at Debitto with a wide eye. "Whu? Why am I getting this?"

"Don't wanna use it now." Debitto said, sitting a few paces to the left of Lavi.

"But.... Come on, Debi. This _was_ meant for the both of us, come keep me warm!"

"Don't wanna sit with you."

Lavi sighed and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders before crawling over to where Debitto sat hunched over his knees. "Don't be childish, Debi."

"I'm not being childish."

"You really are." he held out his blanket covered arms to the small Noah, "Come here."

Debitto looked up at Lavi through his mascara coated eyelashes. Lavi had that smile on his face again, Debitto realised. The one that made his stomach do back flips. He knew he would do whatever the exorcist wanted with that look on his face. He leaned into his chest, head still buried in his arms.

"There, now _that's_ better isn't it? Hehe, nice and toasty." He leaned his head down close to Debitto's still rather pink ears, whispering, "and I'm sorry I laughed at you, sugar."

Debitto was glad that his face was buried in his arms then, a he yet again turned a bright shade of red. "Dun av ta be sowi."

"Huh?"

"Nuffin...."

"O-okay..." Lavi looked up at the sky. It was a very bright night tonight, the moon was full and there wasn't a cloud to be seen. He doubted that Allen had gone straight home when it looked this beautiful.

Except that _he_ had something even more beautiful waiting for him back there.

Lavi gritted his teeth.

"Thinking about Kanda?" Debitto asked, rearranging himself into a more comfortable position now that his blush had gone down. Lavi looked down at him, wondering how he had been able to guess straight away.

"H-how did you-"

"Dunno really, it just seems to be the only thing you'd ever get angry over." Debitto said while examining his nails, only faintly aware that Jasdero was walking down a road neither of them were familiar with.

Lavi let out a short, sarcastic laugh. "That guy... Ke, he can do whatever the hell he wants, I don't care...."

"You blatantly do though."

"Do not."

"And who did you just call childish?"

"Che," Lavi turned his head away from those golden eyes, smiling despite himself. "don't get cocky with me, kid."

"There's a point," Debitto raised his finger to the sky, struck by an idea, "I've been meaning to ask you that for ages..."

"Ask me what?"

Debitto looked up at Lavi, who's face was clouded with poorly concealed curiosity. He smiled back seductively, determined to get an honest answer even if it killed him. "How old _are_ you?"

"18." well that hadn't been worth the extra effort.

"Really? Well then.... I'm older then you."

Lavi laughed. "Yeah, you wish! What are you, like, 15? 16?"

"I'm 19 you cheeky bastard. **(1)**"

Debitto watched with great humour as Lavi's emerald eye grew with shock. That really _had_ been worth the extra effort. "Wha....? How....? HUH?! How can you be 19?! No way in _hell_ are you older then me!"

"Well, if you're 18 then I must be older...."

"Shut up, boy."

"What d'you say fool?!"

But before anymore of an argument could break out, Debitto's face fell. He just stared at Lavi, disbelief playing in his golden eyes. He looked as though he might cry at any given moment. "Debi...?" Lavi asked softly, reaching his hand out slowly to comfort his friend. It scared him seeing the usually strong willed Noah act so withdrawn and scared. It didn't fit.

But what had hurt Debitto so much wasn't what he himself had seen, it was what his twin had seen. Tyki. Jasdero had found where he'd run off to, that was for sure. Jasdero had walked around a bend in the road, directly in viewing place of Tyki Mikk, kissing a stranger.

Debitto's heart fell as Jasdero ran. He could hear him in his head, apologising, blaming himself. _"It's not your fault, Jas..."_ he said to his twin. _"If he doesn't want me, what can you do?"_

"_It's not fair, Deb.... It's just not fair..... Why does he do this? I'm so sorry, Debi...."_

"_Please don't call me that."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because you only call me that when you feel guilty._" he internally smiled at his twin. _"Besides, that's what Lavi calls me."_

"_Hey, there's an idea.... get Lavi to make it all better!"_

"_How?"_

"_I dunno, you're the one with the brains!"_

Debitto sighed and turned his attention back to the red head sat next to him. He looked extremely worried, poor thing. Debitto's heart felt tight. How could Lavi have this much of an effect on him? He was meant to belong to Tyki, yet this exorcist could still make his heart race. Not that he even _was_ Tyki's anymore...

That man. He always knew exactly how to hurt him, any way possible no doubt Tyki would do it. Even know, just by kissing someone else.... Debitto would probably have been happier if he had slept with them, simply because that was something he _had_ done. Debitto had never been kissed before in his life.

He noticed then that Lavi had started stroking his hair. _"When did he start doing that?" _he thought to himself, pretending he still hadn't noticed.

"_About three minutes ago."_

"_Ever heard of the term 'rhetorical question', Jas?"_

"_No...."_

"Debi-chan..." Debitto turned to face Lavi, who, while still stroking his hair in that soothing way, had moved down to rest his head on Debitto's shoulder. He looked so worried. "What's the matter? You suddenly became quiet and sad...." he was talking in a low, also soothing voice. It made Debitto want to cry, which was something he couldn't quite understand. There was something else in his voice, too. Something that seemed to be lost in the back of his mind, along with his memories of the days before he was a Noah. "Wanna talk to me?" Was it right to say that Lavi sounded hopeful then? "Anything I can do to help?"

"_Why is he trying so hard....?"_

"_Is that retormalic- um- reterasious.... I forgot the word."_

"_Rhetorical?"_

"_That's it! Is that a ret-or-cal question again?"_

"_Yes."_

"Debi?"

He thought for a moment, before saying something none of them had expected. "Y-yeah, actually. Would you do me a favour?"

"Sure. Anything you want!"

"Would you.... um..." he shifted slightly, cheeks flushed pink. "Would you kiss me, please?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Lavi blinked at the bushing Noah who was virtually sitting on his lap. Had he heard that right? Surely not, no one would be _that_ outright about something like that!

….. Right?

"You..... you want me..... You _actually want _me..... You sure?"

Debitto looked away, trying to bury his head in his arms so as not to be seen by the Bookman-to-be. "Well you did say _anything_....."

"True, however I was not expecting this."

Debitto looked up at the red head with tears of embarrassment and agitation in his eyes (that or he was upset at being denied his kiss, it was hard to tell at that point), brushing them away furiously and scowling at Lavi, "So, what, I'm not _good_ enough for you or something?! Not _girly _enough for you? Not _Japanese_ enough for you?!" Lavi could see his ashen friend getting more and more wound up with each word he was saying and couldn't help but feel that it was his fault (because it was). He hadn't meant for this, for Debi to be upset. He'd make it up to him in the best way he could think up on the spot-- he would give him what he wanted.

Debitto continued mouthing off Kanda as Lavi turned his body to face him. As Debitto was still looking down and to the side (and was a bit slow on the uptake sometimes), he didn't notice this.

"Just coz I don't have a fancy sword....... or long hair..... Just coz I don't try and kill you for being nice..... That makes me the bad guy!! I don't know why I-" Debitto was cut off by the light pressure of lips against his own. His eyes grew wide, blinking rapidly. Lavi still had his eye open, but he wasn't looking at him. His eye were cast to the side and a small pink glow could be seen on his cheeks.

Still looking away, Lavi pivoted his face by the nose so that his forehead was now resting against the smaller male's. He probably shouldn't have done that. He'd gotten in trouble for doing that before. And Debi was still in shock, it was obvious by the way he was still blinking like that. Lavi was starting to think that that had been a huge mistake.

"S-sorry, Debi-chan..... ahaha..... Just kinda....." he sighed, "took you too seriously I gue-" He stopped talking when he felt Debitto's hands creep up the side of his face, resting on his cheeks. He looked up. Debitto was looking intently at him, lips still slightly parted, searching in his eye for any hint of falseness in him. Slowly, almost too slowly for both of their likings, Debitto eased his head towards Lavi's, who in return turned his face up to meet Debitto half way. Just before their lips touched, all three eyes slowly drifted shut.

Debitto could have screamed at the touch of Lavi's lips on his own. He hadn't expected Lavi to catch him off guard like that. He felt out of control. And he had just lost his first kiss in a way that almost seemed accidental. He would have expected something hard or chaste, taking in Lavi's profile. But he was soft and gentle..... And a damn sight sweeter than that Tyki Mikk. Stupid bastard didn't even bother kissing him when he was so blatantly in love with him.....

Shyly, Lavi opened his mouth and licked the bottom of Debitto's lower lip. He wouldn't like to admit it out loud, having only ever kissed Kanda before, but he liked the way Debitto tasted, the way he smelled..... Hell, everything about the boy was making the whole ordeal a lot more enjoyable. It was also because of that that Lavi decided to move further.

Debitto coyly opened his mouth slightly, not entirely sure if that had been what Lavi had meant by his little tasting. He was following orders from Jasdero after all, who was back at the bar and squealing over the 'hot hot action' his twin was getting, telling him exactly what to do and when. And even though the more human part of Debitto would have liked to have some privacy in his head at a time like this, it was very useful having a guide.

Lavi gently flicked his tongue into Debitto's mouth, which made the Noah shiver. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but this softness and warmth was not it. Jasdero was shouting to go along with it in his head, that he could worry about his girly emotions when he was done.

So he did.

Debitto leant his body more onto the exorcist, letting the taller of the two support his weight almost entirely. Lavi in return wrapped his arms around the Noah boy, pulling him closer. Debitto allowed Lavi access to every bit of his mouth, enjoying the foreign feeling of Lavi's tongue sliding against his, shyly allowing his hands to travel along the length of Lavi's sides. It wasn't anything like _that_, Debitto knew, but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy it.....

It didn't mean he had to pretend he didn't have rather strong feelings for the man kissing him.

When at last the kiss lost its fervour, the two men pulled their mouths apart almost agonisingly slow. Debitto had his forehead lightly pressed against Lavi's, both of them slightly out of breath. Debitto blushed. "Th-thank you..." he murmured under his breath, suddenly very aware that it had been his shameless request that had gotten them into this situation. "you know, for going along with it....."

He hadn't expected Lavi to laugh.

The light rumbling coming from deep within his chest soothed Debitto in a way, mainly because the laughter wasn't directed at him, but with him, proving that Lavi didn't hate him and most likely _would_ talk to him again after today. "Ya don't give yourself much credit do you?" Lavi smiled, lightly ruffling his hair. "I wouldn't just _go along_ with you if you asked that of me..... I may be recovering from a broken heart, but I ain't that easy! Haha." He smiled at Debitto again, eye closed with the emphasis he put on it. Debitto blushed, smiling. Lavi pulled Debitto's upper body so that he was lying with his head resting on Lavi's chest, listening to him breathing evenly. He was now very much sat on the taller's lap.

"You wanna know something?" Lavi made a small noise of recognition before the Noah carried on, "....That..... that was....." he sighed, burying his face into Lavi's collar bone and striking up the full interest of the Exorcist. ".....That was my first kiss...."

"Your what?"

"First kiss, retard."

Lavi started, but carried on regardless, "Hey, don't insult me when I've just helped you clear one of life's most important rights of passage! Besides, you were mumbling...." Despite what had been said, Lavi could feel Debitto smiling against his shoulder.

"Shut up, Exorcist. Let's just..... Stay here for a minute...."

"Haha, you nice and comfy?"

"Yes actually. Thank you for your concern."

Lavi laughed for what had to be the 375037210th time that night, pulling Debitto a little closer to him, completely at ease.

A few yards up the bank, Allen Walker shakily walked in the opposite direction to the scene he had just witnessed.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Yay -clap clap- finished :]] reviews are love x]**

**1) When I wrote this I thought that's how old he was coz I read it somewhere...... He's not, but never mind :] It makes the story work better xD**

**Owari x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Jesus Christ this took ages to upload**

**What is wrong with me :|**

**I'm sorry guys, thanks to everyone who stayed with it! ;u;**

**Lets get on with it shall we-**

Allen sat drumming his fingers on the table, scowl set in deep. Whenever Lavi decided that it was a good idea to come home, he and Allen were having serious words. He couldn't believe what an idiot Lavi was, really. That stupid man always managed to get himself into some kind of problem, usually by his own carelessness. He should thank God that he was good when he set his mind to it, he'd would've been killed by now if not.

"Your face'll stick like that if the wind changes you know."

"Good thing I'm not outside then."

Kanda che'd and sat down opposite Allen, who was still glaring at the door. "What's got you're frilly, little girl's style panties in a knot then, Moyashi?"

"I only wore them once."

Kanda made a noise that was close to a laugh, had his pride not gotten in the way. Fun as Allen was when he was painfully honest, Kanda was a bit worried. Not that he'd admit it.

"Seriously though, what's up?"

"Aren't you only meant to be nice to me when I'm giving you a good time?"

"Fine, whatever, nice streak's over."

Allen seemed not to hear him, turning to look at him for the first time since he'd come in. "Aren't you even a little concerned about Lavi?"

"No."

Allen sighed in exasperation, attention going back to the door, "You're hopeless..." he turned back to look at him, "Lavi could be in serious trouble you know... If you'd seen what I'd seen... Getting involved with a Noah is very, very serious, and he doesn't even-"

"Lavi's doing what?"

"A Noah."

Kanda sat looking at Allen for a moment, trying to take in what he had just heard. "So what, Lavi's run off with the Noah girl? That is _low, _she can't be more then 13..."

"Don't be so narrow minded Kanda. Why does it have to be a girl?"

Kanda was silent again. He really couldn't get this through his mind. "So he's been fooling around with the Hispanic fella? Sounds about right, Lavi always does go for the scary ones..."

"You mean like you? But no, it's not him. I don't think he's Spanish either... More Portuguese if you ask me..."

"I don't care, he's not English. And I'm not scary."

"No, you're just vicious and cruel."

Kanda glared at the white haired boy sitting opposite him, again trying to burn the door down with his gaze. Trying to figure out who Lavi was seeing had already passed his mind.

"Staring at it won't make him come back you know."

"It might..."

Kanda che'd. "Why are you so bothered by this anyway? Despite how he acts, Lavi's not stupid. He can handle himself."

Allen looked round at Kanda, eyebrows drawn up and mouth pulled down, looking extremely lost. And cute. "He's my friend... And he's not as tough as he may seem, either... I really upset him today, I know, but I'm just scared that..." He looked down. "if anything were to happen to him..."

It sounded as though Allen would cry at any given moment. Why he reacted so strongly or cared what that idiot did Kanda didn't know, but, despite everything, he _really_ didn't want Allen to be sad.

"Listen, Moyashi..." No one was in the cafeteria, but it still would've been too bold for Kanda to hold Allen, like he so obviously needed. He touched his hand lightly instead. "You don't have to worry about Lavi. He's strong, he'll manage. Whatever happened between you two tonight, just... forget it. For now. Apologise tomorrow when you see him. You should go to bed, it's late." With the last bit Kanda stood. Allen looked up at him, smiling through his eyelashes that had a few tears clinging to them.

"So you can be nice, huh?"

"It only happens once a year. Make the most of it." Kanda answered sarcastically, turning to go.

Allen got up and grabbed his sleeve, moving around the table. "In that case... Can 'we' go to bed? Like you said, it is late..."

Kanda half smiled at his smaller lover. "Lead the way, Princess."

Lavi had been looking at his bowl of cereal for the past five minutes and still hadn't been able to eat anything. He'd gotten home at half five that morning, having spent most of the night out on the bank with Debi (who had actually fallen asleep a few hours before Lavi had noticed, so Lavi had courteously taken him back to the Noah mansion), only to have his room stormed at 6 by a raging Allen. He hadn't really heard what Allen had said, but he seemed mad. Lavi was now sat in the cafeteria at half six, having had 30 minutes sleep, trying to eat some mushy cereal that looked really unappetising. He was exhausted, and now had a headache as Bookman sat lecturing him about staying out all night, about how he would fail as a bookman if he continuously doing this, etc etc...

"Are you going to eat that cereal or not?"

"I think I'm gonna try and avoid that, Panda- itai!" Bookman hit him on the head for using that name. "It looks pretty gross..."

"Well get something down you- I can't have you passing out on me all through the day. In fact..." Bookman scrutinised him, "You look like death. Go and get some rest, you can do the work later, it's not going anywhere."

Lavi smiled gratefully at the Chinese man. He wasn't half bad at times. Leaping up to leave, he tried his luck, "Say, if you've got free time, you could always do my reports for me...?"

Bookman barked a sarcastic laugh. "Get out of here before I change my mind!"

"Okay, okay, I got it..."

Kanda knocked on Lavi's door. He didn't know why he bothered with the other exorcist sometimes- it only ended up with him having to clear things up with the red head. It wasn't even his problem...

When Lavi didn't answer, he knocked again, louder, adding a 'get up you lazy retard' for good measures. When all he got was a mumbled 'go away', he let himself in.

"Go away, I'm sleeping."

"Yeah, good job you're doing there. Very convincing."

Lavi groaned and rolled over to face the wall. He had slept for two hours before Kanda had come along and broken his door down. Why wouldn't anyone let him sleep? "What do you want, Yuu-chan."

"Che, don't call me that." Kanda crossed his arms, annoyed that he had to be there. "So what's happened with you and Moyashi then?"

"Why is that any of your concern?"

"Because he's my concern. What's happened?"

Lavi sat up, glaring at Kanda. He looked really rough, Kanda wondered what time he'd got back last night. Then he realised that he didn't care.

"I really, really _don't_ wanna talk to you..."

"That's fine, I don't want to be here. Now spill."

"No."

"Che, don't make this harder then it already is, okay?"

"YOU think it's hard..." Lavi muttered. Cute as Yuu's slow uptake is, it was getting increasingly painful for Lavi to be in the same room as him. Knowing what he knew about him and Allen...

Lavi wondered what Debi was up to at that moment.

"Yeah, I do thanks. Now tell me so I can get the hell out of here."

Lavi sighed. "He insulted Debi..."

"Is that the Noah you're banging?"

"I'm not as loose as Yuu, I don't sleep with just anyone..."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

…..

"...Allen, right? You think I just woke up one day and thought 'hm, the sun is shining, birds are singing, lets good fuck someone I have absolutely no feelings for'? Who do you think I am?"

Lavi let out a bitter laugh, "Don't tell me you actually _like_ the little brat? You're not fooling me, Yuu, I know you're not _that_ deep..."

Kanda was looking at his feet when Lavi looked up at him, mouth set into a hard line. That couldn't be right. "...You _can't_ have... you couldn't possibly..."

"You told me not to say it. So I'm not."

"Is it true?"

"Of course it's true, baka."

Lavi looked at his knees, his heart crumbling away with every word the Japanese man said. "But..."

"But what? 'It's not fair'? Che, get over yourself rabbit, I never liked you and you know it." losing some of the acid from his voice, Kanda continued. "So... leave that fantasy behind, all right? You're my friend, nothing else. And I lo-... care about Allen." he turned to leave. "You'll only hurt yourself more if you keep this up..."

Lavi was left alone then.

Kanda couldn't care about Allen. He just couldn't. Allen was a guy, male, not a girl... Kanda had proclaimed his hate for all things homosexual, he couldn't actually have feelings for him...

It just wasn't fair.

Sleep seemed along way away from Lavi now.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Trying to concentrate on the book Tyki had given Debitto was hard enough when he had Jasdero gabbering away in his head every 5 seconds. With him in the room it was near impossible.

Having run out of paper to ball up and throw at his twin, Jasdero climbed over both beds in the small room to the desk Debitto was sitting at. "That thing's boring, come talk to me~" he sang to the Noah, slinging himself over his shoulders.

Debitto closed the book and put it down with bang. "Okay Dero, you wanna talk, go ahead. That's very interesting, now shut up and leave me alone." Debitto picked the book up again, muttering under his breath.

"Boo, Deb doesn't love Dero no more~"

"Be quiet."

"I'm so sad... Boo~ You made Dero cry~..."

"Quiet."

Jasdero pulled a face. That usually worked. "What's so great about that book anyway..."

"It's Tyki's."

"I know, hee, but that doesn't make it special..."

"Not to you maybe."

The blond twin was quiet for a moment, seeing the words Debitto was reading in his mind and choosing to just look at them. They were boring anyway, and there weren't any pictures. A line was repeated, then another missed out. A conflict of flame red and a black-near-purple was taking place at the back of Debitto's mind, gradually moving forward.

"You're not concentrating..."

"You're putting me off."

"I am? Hee~ but I'm usually blond in you're mind... You're not very imaginative are you?"

Debitto put the book down with less force then before, warily looking at his twin. "What are you talking about, Jas?"

"In your head, whatever you're thinking of- or whoever- is shown through hair colour, heehee~. You should make it more complex, or funny, like me! I see people as fruit..."

"Are you snooping around my head again?"

"Me? Snoop? Never!" Jasdero giggled and reclaimed his hold around his twin's neck. He was tense. Silly boy, worrying about such things...

Debitto rested his chin on interlocked fingers, looking at the lamp. He was frowning sightly.

"Why are you so flippy?"

"Heh?"

"You know, like sad and angry, but a little scared and confused I think. You're head doesn't make much sense, hee."

Debitto sighed. "Not my damn fault is it..."

"Are you worried because you like Lavi and you don't want Tyki to find out?"

"Get out of my head, Jas."

"I was right? Yay! I win!" he laughed, but stopped after he saw the look on Debitto's face. He didn't like it when Debi was sad... "I don't like it when Debi's sad..."

He smiled, painfully. Jasdero was an idiot most of the time, but he wasn't a bad person. Winding Debitto up was just like his way of showing he cared. "Then I won't be sad, mmkay? But the best way to stop me from being sad is to do me a really big favour..." He patted his blond twin on the head, "can you do that for me?"

Jasdero smiled. He would do it, and well too! But he would make Debitto say it first... "How do I make Debi happy?"

"First, you stop calling me Debi- seriously, you don't have to feel guilty." Jasdero nodded. "Second... You don't say anything to Tyki, and the jokes could do with stopping, it's making this a bitch to deal with. D'you think you can do that for me?"

Jasdero smiled triumphantly. "Of course I can! There's nothing Dero can't do, heehee!"

Debitto ruffled his hair, "You're a good boy, Dero."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It wasn't anywhere. No matter how many times he checked, Tyki's book wasn't in there. It was brand new as well, Hardy's latest novel 'Jude the Obscure'. Apparently it was really high class yet morbid. He'd been looking forward to that..

Maybe it was in another room.

Checking in Road's room (he'd already been thrown out for 'invading her privacy' earlier that day, but you never can be sure) again was evidently fruitless, so Tyki's next port of call was the twins room, a place he usually avoided at all costs. If he was caught in there again he'd have a considerable amount of trouble explaining it.

There wouldn't appear to be any point checking Jasdero's side as anything without pictures was usually burnt or chewed (Tyki worried greatly for his book at that point), though he did have a tendency to hoard things that he didn't actually need or want. Not there. But with that guy, he may want to check the fruit bowl or other such places. Maybe one day someone would understand the workings of Jasdero's brain.

The desk was an absolute tip. Picture books, pens, those stupid scraps of paper that Debitto always writes on, blank paper, about twelve bound note pads, some crayons and crudely drawn pictures (that could be drawn by either of them), letters, makeup, a rubber duck, tissues and an unopened bottle of cola could be seen at first glance. Anyone would be terrified to delve into the mess. But then again, Tyki was very possessive with his things. He would find that book if he had to turn the whole house upside down, this desk and all.

_Cobiça._

Sifting through the piles of junk was not exactly how Tyki had pictured spending his day, though there were a few entertaining things strewn about. Some of the things Debitto wrote were hilarious to Tyki, the kid always tried to sound so deep. Jasdero had at least three copies of the same picture book, too. What he needed them all for Tyki had no idea.

He found a shirt, the leg of a pair of trousers and a sealed envelope (yes, he did open it- it included thousands of little cut up pieces of paper and one larger sheet with the word 'CONFETTI' in Jasdero's hand writing on it), but sadly no book yet.

'There could be more buried under here…' He thought to himself, 'damnit, I WILL find it…'

'_.. but you're still on my lonely mind,..'_

'… _as if I wasn't even there. I mean, come on…'_

'_Here's the day you hoped would never come, don't feed me violins…'_

'Bi sure does write some crap…' Tyki had seen his name written an aweful lot, mainly in the bound notepads that were dotted around (that seemed to be more linear than the loose pieces of paper, more like a diary. Aaaw.) though he assumed a few of the scraps were about him too. How flattering.

'_Even angel's have their wicked schemes…'_

'…_be my hero, even though you've lost your mind…'_

Okay, maybe not so much.

He stopped to read a few of the scraps of paper (it wasn't like he needed to be anywhere especially, he was a creature of pleasure after all), regarding most of them as teenage babble and soppy poetry. Those were boring. He wanted to find ones about him.

'_You make me wanna die.'_

Ooh, pleasant. Scanning the text for his name (and not finding it) Tyki continued skipping through the sheaves until he found some:

'_Tyki won't even look at me.. It's not even through guilt, I'm just not there.'_

The handwriting was a lot more wild here, this must have been written quite a while ago.

'_I don't think he even realises how much it hurts…'_

'_I don't mean to do bad things. I swear.'_

Boring.

What else…

'_They're bleeding again…'_

Skip.

'_So I'm a freaking PINEAPPLE to him…'_

Definitely skip. Jasdero's representation of people was of little interest to Tyki. In fact it quite irritated him.

'_I'm sure I'll find out what it means some day…'_

Skip.

'_.. so why do you make me feel so safe?'_

Huh?

That can't be right.

'Unless I'm doing something particularly well…' he thought.

"_I wouldn't even be able to begin to tell you how much having you stand next to me makes me feel that much better. Maybe you just look good standing by me, I dunno… All I know is I like it. You withstand so much and I can never explain how much I respect you. Your eye must have really caused problems, yet you're still so strong and managed trust in a stupid guy like me. And I swear, it's mutual. But God, I don't even know you, so why do you make me feel so safe? Why does my stomach do flips when you're around, or even if I just think of you? Why does nothing seem so bad anymore?_

_Why can't I say this to your face?'_

Now that didn't make sense.

Bi was only meant to feel like that about him.

Tyki's hand was shaking, nails leaving groves in his palm. His stomach was knotting in a way that made him feel physically sick, his heart beat increasing, adrenaline coursing through his body at an alarming rate. He could feel his breathing getting heavier.

This was _wrong_.

This wasn't about him.

His mind felt groggy, cloudy; the only thing he could feel was the excruciating rage mounting in his chest, twisting his abdomen and making his throat tighten. That _boy._ That red headed _boy._ That's the only person it could be about. With his stupid _grin_ and ridiculously stupid _laugh. _He was wheedling his way in on Tyki's possession, with all his flaws he was still owned. Every part of him.

_Ira._

The piece of paper was screwed up and thrown to the floor, along with the majority of what was left on the desk. Tyki's teeth were clenched together, he wasn't aware of what he was doing, things just had to _break_.

'I always worried about that one…'

_IRA._

This was wrong.

Things were falling apart.

Some disgusting _exorcist_ was trying to ruin him.

That was the only reason this was happening.

Nobody would want a street rat like that.

He was trying to soil his toy.

Trying to insult him.

_Orgulho._

So he wasn't the nicest guy ever to the kid.

So it was a bit of a convenience.

He never complained.

In fact he never shut up.

He allowed himself to be touched.

Dirty slut had begged for more.

He'd deserved everything.

_Luxúria._

He was supposed to be faithful.

_Forever._

Not flying off with some guy he doesn't even know.

He's been replaced.

Fresh meat.

How could the street rat ever resist.

He probably offered him a hot meal.

There were no other traits that made him better than Tyki.

He must've wanted repaying for putting up with the kid.

Sex = love to that one anyway.

There's no other reason or explanation.

… _Inveja._

The room would later be discovered to resemble a bomb site- bed sheets torn off and ripped to shreds, wardrobe doors flung open with the majority of their contents chucked around the room, shredded paper everywhere. And a desk, broken clean in half.

Tyki exited the mansion.

He would confront the younger once he obtained his liquor.

**Hopefully the next update will be sooner...**

**I do have this all planned out, promise :3c**


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